The highlight of breaking up polyamorous non-binary relationships is getting to say things like:
“It’s not you, it’s not me, it’s them.”

Mormons are so trusting, they hear “white collar crime” and think you’re talking about a teenage boy passing the sacrament in the wrong color.

I used to eat tiny pieces of bread every Sunday to help me get into Heaven which turned out to be the worst scam of my life. I'm not falling for your "fresh baked samples."
*flips over child's bake sale table*

I need to let the rain fall down and wake my dreams about this.

Someone said “The version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility.” ….She’s a bad bitch though, right? I have to know.

Maria it's me Carah Burrell your number one fan who just fell out of the shower butt naked to run to their computer to make a blue sky account to ask to join you for lunch.