It is not comfortable and I despise talking or interacting with them because of these unpleasant sensations that always arise only when I interact with them and nowhere else.

The energies forced upon me by the casteist woman were occupying most of my head earlier. After the walk, they had been reduced to occupying (at least according to my perception) the back portion of my head, between the backs of the ears and where my neck starts.

Back at the apartment for now. I keep forgetting to get another bottle of hand soap, I have one which I keep migrating from the bathroom to the kitchen when I have to wash my hands (after handling chopped green chilis for example, not fun to be careless with).

Hold the immigrants in your life tight. It's terrifying here for them right now. There's one who lives with me in my house.

Choose to play with everything like a toy and the world will treat you like a toy as well.

Define yourselves and avoid the trap of being turned into a toy to be played with by delusional men with no virtue, ethics, morals, or intact basic humanity as adults.

It is trivially easy to attribute to the grace of gods & goddesses that which is more accurately described as deliberate misbehavior through rigid adherence to patriarchal backwardness when mental health, healthcare, and basic perceptual awareness are proactively discarded.

This has most commonly been carried out with the biological sibling who is 2 years older than me and under total casteist/Savarna/Hindutva control, and has been for several decades now.

I meditated and focussed on preventing the consumed energies originating from my entity from being merged with others' energies, an incestuous activity that continuously takes place within the casteists due to the casteists' lack of development and implementation of sexual barriers & boundaries.

I had to also meditate upon my own energies that she had consumed yesterday, during an unnecessarily extended hour-long phonecall that could have easily have been 5-10 minutes if she had not been consuming my energy and depositing casteist backwardness here for future casteist consumption.

I could sense energies within myself attempting to raise other energies upwards, possibly towards a space within me through which casteists have regularly consumed me in the past.

It is a bright and sunny day. It is pleasant outside.

It has taken over an hour to have the casteist, incestuous energies forced upon me to be deactivated, disassembled, and prevented from finding energies within myself that are desired by the casteists & fascists whom she interacts regularly with.

I had 3 oranges on a small park bench nearby after the Sangha and read 3 books that I have been making my way through.

This must have been around 2pm. I have been walking since then attempting to address all of the energies forced upon me during the conversation with the casteist woman yesterday.

It is now 6 minutes past 330pm.

I attended the weekly Thursday afternoon BIPOC Sangha organized by Garrison Institute for the first time in over a month.

They are dirty, their money is dirty, they are a disgusting, backwards and horrible people whose gods & goddesses mean nothing.

I want nothing to do with them, I do not want any of their money which they purchased through sale of the integrity of my entity for 27 years since age 9, my intact basic humanity as a child from age 12 onwards, and my intact basic humanity as an adult until age 36.

I am glad to be at a distance from the horrendous backwardness of the Savarna/casteist household that I was born into.

I intend to make this distance infinite.

But I suspect these momentary sensations are connected to, for lack of better terms, depositing and subsequent consumption of energies harvested from my entity.

By having constructed ostracization and isolation of my entity from the rest of the household, they have prevented direct knowledge of what is going on.

I often sense things momentarily in my eye, ear, nose, tongue, body consciousnesses, and mind that are not actually there in my present moment.

They achieve all of this through a thorough failure to accept, recognize and respect the boundaries upon childrens' developing reproductive systems, both material & non-material. This is what permits their delusions of playing with the energies present with a humam body.

Without this consumption, all of their children will be left in a state that would be too underdeveloped for them to have any sort of existence in countries where casteism has not been the default form of existence for centuries. Casteists/Savarnas are greedy, lustful, hateful, and ignorant.

In the meantime, while I still live and breathe, they consume my energy to be fed to their grand children, nephew's children, and to be distributed within the various caste prisons/hovels as necessary.

Their only option thus has been to prevent employment and to force poverty upon me, which they have done through ODSP. They continually try to find ways of disposing of me, by achieving the cessation of my breath, without having a drop of blood on their dirty hands.

My understanding is that I am a failed project of producing an obedient, docile Savarna as I have chosen humanity over the delusions and backwardness of the Savarnas.

At the same time, they have to ensure that the Savarna child does not express themselves too freely or achieve academically or at athletic endeavours that causes the children or adults of the castes that consider themselves superior to feel that caste hierarchy has been insulted or violated.

They have to simultaneously prevent any connections or relationships with the rest of the world external to caste apartheid and force the children to not fail examinations etc.

To take children from birth to adulthood without permitting the development of actual intact basic humanity as children or as adults is not an easy one.

They simultaneously have the necessity of having their children complete education, and attain academic qualifications such that they may be viable as marriage products.

A Savarna parent can never permit their children to develop any humanity or possess any finances independent of the caste prison/hovel.

Their nephew has a son and a daughter as well. The project there is the same of producing slaves to caste apartheid and every bigot/fascist who leases obedient, docile Savarna labor.