Looking at the scope of the catastrophe in LA, it's hard to comprehend we're about to inaugurate a President who will actively govern in ways to make it worse.

I'm morose as hell, but even I will mime twirling glow sticks if Sandstorm starts playing at the gas station.

...and while you're at it, make the billionaires pay, too.

So stoked for my son’s show starting tomorrow night❤️

But does it squeak?

Who did this? 🤣

Also they could be better looking. There’s not been a single one I’d like to give the popsicle treatment. Do Better.

My Honey and I are so progressive. We’ve discovered parallel play. Apparently calls, texts, and memes don’t count 😂

Say a prayer for me. I’m car shopping on Craigslist😂

Your religions are hilarious. The one you call Jesus was a brown skinned sandal wearing communist hippie who fed the poor, healed the sick and loved people even at their worst, asking for nothing in return but to be more loving like him. He was everything his followers hate. Truly baffling.

I said tit and told them to scram. The blame is all mine. Sowie 😂

please stop suggesting I solve my problem by changing my behavior. I do not want to do that

Religion is what happens when mansplaining gets out of control.

I’m “$147 used to fill up a whole damn shopping cart” years old.

It’s not personal.

I just hate your face.

I call my honeys junk My Happ-penis.

Every time someone believes what they read online an angel gets punched by George Carlin

Fkn pornbots! I have my own tits. Scram!

She speaks for me…

There is no better time than right now to abandon Twitter.

Make it useless. Worthless.

a close up of a man 's face in the dark with the words `` love it when it bounce back '' above him . ALT: a close up of a man 's face in the dark with the words `` love it when it bounce back '' above him .

😂

This is where delivery has gotten out of hand. Like what the fuck???

Get married 😂

16: depressed, listening to Nirvana
43: depressed, listening to Nirvana

Saturdays used to be so much fun when I drank heavily and had no self respect😂

😄