Monster that thinks humans like being eaten alive due to excessive extrapolation from some highly specific message boards it found.
Monster that insists that if it dies the sun will explode and, sure, it's probably lying but what if it's not, you know?
Monster that's really cool. If you kill it, you won't get to hang out with it anymore.
Monster that, for no clear reasons, makes a random baby explode every time it takes damage.
Morally grey enemies
Monster who is protecting its young but also attacks by grabbing its young by the legs and swinging them as weapons.
Monster that eats people but also regularly re-blogs signal boosts for important social causes.
Avoid minmaxing by having everyone make the character of the player they hate the most
Look, you can't expect all quests to be epic.
The Archmage of the Seven Stars needs a mighty hero to get them a sandwich. Hold the pickles. No, they can't do it themselves. Do you see a sandwich star? They don't, and they'd fucking know, wouldn't they?
Folk horror, a phrase which here means standard horror but all the monsters are badly playing a ukulele.
Summon Enriched Uranium Elemental
Person with OCD plagued by teleporting succubi, call that suffering from intrusive thots .
This game has three skills:
Combat
Bake a four-layer red velvet cake
Miscellaneous
No-one will tell the PCs about plot hooks, because they like the PCs and don't want them to die.
base a dungeon on home alone and see how long it takes people to notice
Instead of giving your players exp or advantage for good roleplaying, give them a little smooch.
All the great forces of evil have been defeated, leading to the new scourge - all the mighty adventurers and noble heroes now out of a job.
Set up a specialist sub-subcommittee to investigate the problem. They predict that, if funding continues, you should have a functioning character within 5-7 weeks.
Just don't bother. We all know that scheduling errors are going to cancel the game anyway. Why delude yourself?
Make a character in another, more difficult system first so making one in this system suddenly feels much easier in this comparison.
Just search your name on Deviantart and see what pops up. Luck of the draw!
Wait until the campaign starts. Once the GM introduces an NPC, stop the campaign and declare that one's yours now.
Pick one flaw from each member of your game group and combine them into one highly insulting character.
Take a classic RPG archetype and invert it. Instead of alive elf, dead elf. Instead of alive space marine, dead space marine. Instead of dead vampire, some guy.
Wait for another player to finish making their character, then grab their character sheet and trick them into thinking you wrote it.
Quick ways to build a character if you're struggling
Start with an existing character to take out most of the work. Just change the name, personality, goals, appearance, motivation, backstory and abilities.
The Orcs are trying to clear up their image, so now they're reverse-raiding villages to leave behind gift baskets and apology letters in the middle of the night.
Make the main superhero team of your setting the Justice League but they say "fuck", so now it's not a childish comic game but Deep and Mature.
Just don't free Cthulhu from his eon-old prison beneath the waves.
It won't be good for you and it's a lot of effort. Just watch TV or something instead.
Worried about how your players will respond to your big reveal?
Have 5 big reveals, one after the other, and then let your players vote on which one gets to be canon.
"Oh no, the last Dark Lord was the one focused on Dark Conquest. My platform is focused more on Dark Agriculture and Dark Healthcare Reform."
base each session of your campaign on an episode of the D&D cartoon
Book of vile darkness is outside your price range. We have the book of passive-aggressive meanness, though.
Implement critical fumble tables and nat-one-is-an-autofail but only for the player you like the least.
Dwarves and Elves are doing a job swap thing.
The Elves have dug a hole 2ft by ineffectually flailing their picks at the ground while Dwarves have found the answer to all philosophical questions as "who gives a shit?"
Big bad who keeps doomscrolling instead of finishing off the chosen one, call that executionive dysfunction.
If a player rolls 3 natural 20s in a row, they get to remove any one NPC from the campaign no questions asked.
Evil AIs but they act like actual AIs. The Shadow Network tries to take over the world but it immediately fucks up the maths and is completely wrong about how politics works so it's mostly just annoying.