The godbthat created me set me on a path from birth that passed through every major femboy pipeline entry point and saw me come out looking like Zach Galifianakis, Drinking like him too with nothing more than a septum piercing. I passed trials and see them clearly while friends call me "Fat Jesus"

Learning for every major hobby I was Way into throughout my whole life, most falling off cause I couldn't afford it, all have Femboy equivalent communities

*Click on users profile"

Bio reads: "I'm a bottom now get off my page"

*Leave*

Another day of saying stupid shit I mean

Thanks. What's it matter anyway? I can't kink shame you. I'm not your mom

Two screens from the television show venture bros. The first shows Dean standing in some wreckage text reads "I think I figured out why the plane crashes" seconds text shows to skeletons in seats at the front of the wreckage with Dean pointing at them text reads "there were skeletons driving it!"

No

Bruh, were you just on Cephalexin, too?

Had a nightmare about geometry, 2 specific shapes v8sited me in my dreams and left me with a Sinister ill feeling and feeling of impending Doom upon waking up

The future belongs to the kids who climb up the slide instead of using the steps.

Living is killing me

Me reserving 2 nights at an Inn on a holiday weekend cause I'm stranded rn for $400 when I only have $240. I'll ignore this situation until I'm face to face with the front desk

If you all don't give me attention, I'll vanish for another many weeks

My standards at their minimum are -Do you have boobs
-Do NOT touch my butthole

I need a MILF who'll let me be a Trophy Husband (Bronze place) toy whatever

Fantastic, Ace win

sorry I was weird earlier.. I remembered I exist and panicked ❤️

And "Corn Fed Wolverine"

I forgot "Alcoholic Siri"

Names clients have called me to my face:
"Fat Jesus"
"Sweet Water"
"Shot Out Ed Sheeran"
"Homosexual tendencier"

+$15 fee for bringing my guitar inside

How do I mark $20 and 60mg Adderall xr as payment for travel/living expenses for someone's couch in their studio on TurboTax Tax?

Sometimes I save my afternoon buffer dose for evening for that sweet 8hr sleep

My bangs are the longest they've ever been by far. My secret? 1-1 body wash from bangs to toes

My hair is at its longest, tied with 2017 at least

It makes it so I can make phone calls and complete menial tasks throughout my day instead of f*cking off and having a personality filled by procrastination, panic, relief

funky kong is a pr nightmare for the gay community

At age 6 I was born without a sex drive

i like how no one in king of the hill is neurotypical

Places I'm not allowed:
-- Red Robin
-- LinkedIn