Exhibit A at The Hague’s social media cliché court

I’m letting this sink in

To celebrate the return of playoff hockey, please enjoy my favourite hockey gif: Alex Burmistrov of the Winnipeg Jets watching the replay on the scoreboard and realizing he did in fact deserve the penalty

@davidjroth.bsky.social Favourite (only) story about the Las Vegas 51s, referenced on Extra Hot Great: saw them in Calgary against the Cannons. 51s warming up by the beer garden. Fan asks, “Why are you called 51s?” Player says, “There’s this area? Area 51?” End of explanation. Fan utterly bewildered

There are other jokes I like more; this is one I still can’t believe they got away with

All the more reason for them to identify it as cavatappi!

OPERATOR: 911, what’s your emergency?
ME: Hi, I ordered lobster mac and cheese but when it arrived, it was cavatappi, not macaroni
OPERATOR: You did the right thing by calling. Try to remain calm
ME: My wife said they’re basically the same and I shouldn’t call you
OPERATOR: We’ll deal with her later

“Redundant” may be a nicer way of putting it than “kinda nonsensical”!

People hardly use ordinals anymore anyway — I mostly hear, say, “10-year anniversary” instead of “10th anniversary.” (To be clear, I don’t know if there’s been an actual usage change or if it’s just my own confirmation bias.)

You always knew it was going to be a good piece of business when Homer put on his glasses

Fell down a Siskel & Ebert rabbit hole on YouTube tonight. What a treat. We need to go back

“Somehow, death feels good in a place like this,” Nicole Kidman tells me, right before I feebly reach for the power cord and unplug my own respirator

The first crack of the snare drum during the intro of “Under Pressure”

HOW TO FOLD A FITTED SHEET:

1. Just fold it in half a bunch of times until it’s small enough for the shelf
2. Live your life

I have to imagine at some point I’ll stop hearing it as “Gigli” and start hearing it as “G-League,” which would help boost my interest

@sarahdbunting.bsky.social Maybe the one thing you and RFK Jr. agree on

Tom’s Restaurant (aka Seinfeld’s Monk’s Cafe)

Decided to go to church this morning

Not a chance. Cannot even fathom how bad the Regal Beagle must have smelled

JESUS CHRIST (ninth hour): Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? GOOFY (present at the crucifixion): Gawrsh

Happy Good Friday, folks

“not even one of the better-known clowns” now and forever

Bogus maple syrup from Quebec producer found on grocery store shelves | CBC News Radio-Canada’s Enquête program has uncovered fake maple syrup being sold on store shelves in Quebec. The lab responsible for testing maple syrup in Quebec says it’s a first. The producer in question i...

If you’re not aware just how important maple syrup is to Quebec, I’d like you know that the CBC did lab tests and staged an undercover hidden-camera sting to expose a producer cutting his “100% pure” syrup with cane sugar. Tabernac!

Curtains for Zoosha?

The extra B is for bargain!

thank god i found it again

VELVEETA: Try our cheese!
ME: This is cheese?
VELVEETA: It’s delicious!
ME: Shouldn’t it be in the fridge?
VELVEETA: …
ME: Shouldn’t it be in the fridge?
VELVEETA: What are you, a cop?

Us middle-aged dads have been training for this for years

I really need him to not have worms, though!

Might have been cheaper to buy cocaine