God, cars and driving are so awesome. I don't care how many of my comrades hear it.

PRhyme 1 was a masterpiece.

Screenshot of this post, but none of the replies are loading.

Ah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

How about the god dang President?

Y'all need to stop worrying about e-girls and start worrying about your e-mails.

Dan Ballsarian.

Making friends at Friday Night Magic by pronouncing "Llanowar Elves" like they're Welsh.

Everybody else sucks at doing this meme.

The “Calvin’s dad explains two types” meme, inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes cartoon. Clockwise from top left: 1) Calvin’s dad walks into frame to find Calvin trying to operate a record player. The dad says: “There are only two industries left in America: gambling, and fraud.” 2) The dad shows where the record goes, and how to turn on the player, while Calvin watches. Dad says “Derivatives? Gambling. AI? Fraud. Video games? Gambling. Social media? Fraud.” Calvin says “yeah”. 3) With one hand open palm up, Calvin’s dad cheerfully explains to Calvin out of frame below him, “The stock market looks like gambling, but it’s actually fraud.” 4) In bed in a dark room, Calvin clutches at his pillow, eyes wide in existential terror. There is no text in the panel.

Google AIPAC.

Think about this shit: if aliens knew about it, eclipses would be a hot tourist destination. We'd probably even get alien scientists checking it out.

The new seasoned fries bang hard.

Bourgeois Z-Targeting, is this anything?

Women

Everything I do is stud work.

Halal Spicy Cheeto for World Peace.

You're a fucking joke. Get out of DC and never come back.

Trump, 3:55pm on any weekday: "Actually peace talks are going great and the strait will open soon."

I'm feeling lucky.

It's so funny that it turned out the pedophile blood wizard demon god of hell wasn't actually a pedophile.

Is it possible that you just suck at defending your position?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: people should fly off the handle more often.

This is how it feels when I'm buying PAX tickets.

Relax. It's April Fools, let a motherfucker have a little fun.

I'm gonna use this on my Christian dipshit family.

Yeah, frontierism and the tourism industry aren't political at all.

Pim Tool

They're going to make him a natural brunette.

Scene from Saints Row 4 where Vice President Keith David asks if you want to support the Fuck Cancer bill or the Let The Eat Cake Bill. You choose Fuck Cancer and say "Cancer had a good run. But it's time to put it down."