As I do every year on 4/20, I will be following the Jeopardy! interview segment tonight by saying “Dream blunt rotation. Now let’s get back into the Jeopardy! round.”

Fuck it, we're doing it dead

Got in a little hometown jam
So they put a rifle in my hand
Send me off to a foreign land
To go and eat the silver ham

Exactly one year ago today:

1. Today, the funniest LOCT posting I've seen in ages.
2. The theater company in question's website, as of today.

👀 40 Senate Democrats just voted to block a proposed sale of weapons to Israel.

Just 7 Democrats voted to approve the weapons (along with every Republican):

Blumenthal
Coons
Cortez Masto
Fetterman
Gillibrand
Rosen
Schumer

40-59, @sanders.senate.gov resolution to block the sale fails.

BREAKING: Maryland is about to become the first state in the nation to ban the use of surveillance data and dynamic pricing at grocery stores.

The Maryland House has just passed the Protection from Predatory Pricing Act.

Governor Wes Moore plans to sign the bill.

DJP should be DJT but whatevs, typos are a part of the bit.

THE VERY WEAK CHICAGO 'DOPE' SHOULD BE ASSIGNING AT LEAST 10 HAIL MARYS AND 10 NOVENAS FOR ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!! DJP

They spent a decade complaining about safe spaces and then made a robot to give you compliments and tell you your mp3 of farting noises is Brian Eno

"The use of ChatGPT for scientific purposes... clashes with core scientific integrity principles such as honesty, scrupulousness, transparency, responsibility, and independence.

Therefore, I need to decline this invitation to review."

Outlook Templates seem to have commitment issues. Will they be there? Will they not? Who knows?

I think WAoVW is in part a victim of its own success. We've spent the last 50 years being inundated with drunken dinner parties at which dark secrets are revealed.

fund the license plate and registration police!!

If you think this is exhausting, imagine being Iranian.

Dissociating by imagining a production of The Odd Couple starring Chris Fleming as Felix and Connor O'Malley as Oscar.

Or maybe Tim Robinson as Felix as Chris Fleming as both of the British ladies.

Best plausible option right now is Trump seizes on something, anything, as an excuse to save face while kicking the can down the road again and we're back to this point in a week or two.

Impeach now. IL needs reps who keep their oath.

@ramirez.house.gov @chuygarcia.house.gov @quigley.house.gov @casten.house.gov @congressmanraja.bsky.social @schakowsky.house.gov @repschneider.bsky.social @repbillfoster.bsky.social @budzinski.house.gov @underwood.house.gov @ericsorensen.bsky.social

Hot take: the Hank Azaria Springsteen/Daiyenu performance would be better if it dropped the klezmery backing track and went more E Streety.

Awesome good news in a bad time.

have a great weekend, everyone

I used to have one of those addiction trackers on my phone, but instead of tracking days since my last drink, I tracked days since I last got in a fight with a stranger on the internet.

Wait, you're not putting up razorwire around your scripts, bro?

Me: Bless me father, for I have sinned.
Priest: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, tell me your sins.
Me: I have watched an NPR Tiny Desk Concert by a mediocre '90s band and experienced schadenfreude regarding the sloppy quality of their performance.

In space no one can hear you on Teams

Nauvoo, Illinois - Wikipedia

And here I was assuming you were talking about Nauvoo. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nauvoo,...

The ‘Crisis of the Humanities’ Is Over. That’s Not a Good Thing. All of higher ed now suffers the attacks of politics and technology.

So, @ehayo1on9.bsky.social & I have been receiving a wave of questions about a passage from Canvas's terms of use that we quoted in this essay from January. We did get a few questions about it then, but this surge coming months later makes me think somebody is doing some damage control.

1/

I hate the thing about Star Trek that is the main thing about Star Trek. I just want to watch them make all different recipes in the replicator

Eat shit Shakespeare