the amount of toilet paper bits was concerning…

Yes yes… dicks fuck buttholes. We know. We know.

well, I can proudly say how many gobstoppers I can fit in mine, and you probably have no idea how many you can.

who sounds stupid now?

Send Colleen pictures of your butthole. She’s too shy to ask but she wants to see them really bad.

has to do with the world record for largest insurance payout ever but I’ll leave it at that because you’re all so friggin two thousand and late.

Somebody would have to sit me down for an hour to describe this to me. Not only because it sounds complicated but mostly because my mind will go on little journeys of not paying attention.

I’ll bring the hammers.

#Canucks #NHL

he‘s doing that men in black memory loss thing to that guy because he witnessed Trump sexually abusing a minor

“I’m sorry for doing the thing I’m denying”

See everyone…. I CAN make all those Asian jokes

Is it something that fell out of your body?

OMG you fucking idiot, stop canceling your order for Pepto Bismol and end this hell cycle

the punch comes impossibly quick

Don’t laugh. This isn’t funny, I’m sharing this because it isn’t funny.

I got kicked out 😒

Well, fuck it. You guys all convinced me to take Jennifer out for a boozy lunch 😃🍸🍸

welcome to Cylinder Shapes with Colleen and PMG, brought to you by Dude Wipes.

Still…. You would think when the rain started to pour that she would’ve been there for him.

Are you saying we should have a podcast?

This was my excuse to always drink wine when watching Game of Thrones.

That’s crazy, did he really say this?

There’s horny, and then there’s trying to fuck while your kid is drowning horny.