damb nothin changes

1 me vs 100 my nervous system

Bong rip in the mega church call me Bowl Osteen

dudes can imagine 100 of them beating up a gorilla but they can’t imagine an end to capitalism

I’m tired of identifying 5 things i can see, 4 things i can touch, 3 things i can hear, 2 things i can smell, and 1 thing i can taste, grandpa

I hope the New Pope™️ gets a normal ass name like Pope Jeff

weed should be legal for everybody except boomers

The existence of a Mannequin Pussy implies the existence of a Mannequin Penis

3 nails
1 cross
4/20

“The thing about depression and anxiety is that it’s all in your head” yeah well the thing about shit and poop is it’s all in your butt, shut the fuck up

so tired of “it is what it is” discourse like yeah ok bitch but what if it was what it isn’t

“put your phone down at concerts! You’re supposed to live in the moment” motherfucker I am trying to learn what the guitar player is playing because it’s a fuckin cool ass riff

used to play elder scrolls now I am the elder who scrolls

“Those energy drinks are going to give you a kidney stone” have u considered I want my kidneys to be stoned

Normalize saying “that ain’t for me” and being real annoying about it

The existence of a metta world peace implies the existence of a metta world war

I don’t want a “career” I don’t want “the bag” I want to be “medically induced” into a “coma”

yeah we’re all fucked and the world’s on fire but my cat does this thing where he’ll meow but then he’ll yawn mid-meow so it stretches out the meow like he’s a singer in a heavy metal band doing falsettos and that temporarily gives me the good brain chemicals

“You’re pretty hit or miss” yeah I hit this blunt and I miss my homies

Fucked up how Ozzy released No More Tears in 1991 but there have in fact been many more tears since then

People who hate cats be like “you have a box of shit in your house” meanwhile they let their dog that eats their own shit lick their face with their tongue that has shit particles all over it, it’s a real shit-eat-shit world and none of us are free from shit

“Go watch Civil War” bro I don’t care how bad shit gets I am not watching an A24 movie

hmmm I think I will smoke some weed and watch some professional wr*stling

Big Skyrim tip: if you attack the chickens over and over again you are eventually rewarded with a fantastic secret prize

the OP is a Nazi too, just fyi

me soon as the RSO gummy I took hit

We are hereby annexing Iceland and renaming it Pissland

conservatives won’t be happy til the Super Bowl half time is just kid rock and ted nugent duetting the n-word over a banjo and washboard sponsored by Busch Light

Bro please just call your congressperson please bro I swear email them they listen to you they love you I swear bro just try it call them 6 times a day I promise they will do things they will do so many things

people be like “mens mental health is so important” and let Kanye have access to a Twitter account