‘You, boy!
Get me a huge St George’s flag so I can hang out of this window looking a bit of a dick…’

An Adolescent Alan Partridge?
A Junior Richard Madeley?
Or perhaps a Young David Brent?
😇

Do you want know what’s wrong with this country?
I mean what’s really WRONG with this country?

A senior civil servant holding high office at the heart of government called…Olly.

Olly?
OLLY?
For God’s sake…😡
This would never have been allowed in my day.
😤

Jill in the village shop has admitted she didn’t vet Simple Sally for her job behind the counter.
This weekend Simple Sally was seen at scarecrow parties in Wimborne St Giles offering her own baps to hungry partygoers.
Jill is distraught
Her muffin lacked moisture this morning.😔

Richard.
Your new profile pic.
Yes it’s all very nice but did you know someone has set fire to your trousers?😳

Whatever you think of Boris Johnson, at least we know he WASN’T a liar, nor did he ever mislead Parliament.
🇬🇧

Life of B̷r̷i̷a̷n̷ Donald.

One thing I will admit.
You can’t fault the enthusiasm and positivity of Reform’s local election campaign.
And their message is getting through as loveable Lee Anderson found out recently.
The electorate are really beginning to understand what Reform UK are all about.
😊

The village historical reenactment society met last night.
We are currently recreating great moments from American history.
This is us reproducing the moment when President Trump acted out the role of a doctor helping others.
As you can see I proudly played the leading role.🎭

Our Father Who art in heaven,
Donald be thy Name.
Thy madness come,
Thy Will be done,
In Iran & not in heaven.
Give us this day your daily dread.
And forgive us our trespasses
As you trespass against us. 
And lead us not into Epstein, 
But deliver us lots of evil.
Amen.🙏🏻

bsky.app/profile/sirm...

bsky.app/profile/sirm...

Our Father Who art in heaven,
Donald be thy Name.
Thy madness come,
Thy Will be done,
In Iran & not in heaven.
Give us this day your daily dread.
And forgive us our trespasses
As you trespass against us. 
And lead us not into Epstein, 
But deliver us lots of evil.
Amen.🙏🏻

‘You, Boy!
Make up some rubbish competition, then go to my very best friends and say they’ve won free energy for a week.’

Bloody Jehovah’s Witnesses will try any gimmick to get inside your house nowadays!
😤

The Iran Crisis.
America’s current position:

I’ve learnt from the Iran crisis how RELIABLE & CONSISTENT a politician President Trump is.
So with regard to this new 2 week ceasefire?
Well I fully expect Mr Trump, within a few days, to threaten to ‘f*cking wipe out those crazy Iranian bastards’ & set a new deadline again.🤪

There is no way on earth a man who has worked for Waitrose 17 years would lower himself to work for a cheap ‘budget’ supermarket like Iceland!
I certainly know I wouldn’t.🤨

I’m reminded of Churchill:
‘We shall f*cking fight those bastards on the f*cking beaches, we shall fight on the f*cking landing f*cking grounds, we shall fight in the f*cking fields & in the f*cking streets,we shall fight in the f*cking hills; we shall never f*cking surrender.’

HAPPY EASTER
HE IS RISEN!
CARROTLULIA! CARROTLULIA!

FAO of all chaps and fillies in the United States of America:
I would assume your President Trump will ask King Charles, when he comes to visit you, how long as monarch he has ‘rained’ over the United Kingdom?
🙈
Gory to God! 😬

‘Right.
You see those apples?
We’re nicking all those bastards.
You go in, tell the shopkeeper he’s a wanker and generally cause havoc by running about and wrecking the gaff.
I’ll nick all the apples, we scarper and Towser here can film us for Tik Tok.’

Please listen to this clip.
President Donald Trump
Should we now call him ‘Son of God?’
My wife Bunty has started praying to him & has constructed a small shrine devoted to him.
It consists of ear bandages & a sculpture of Donald on the cross made out of carrots.
Praise the Lord!

Please listen to this clip.
President Donald Trump
Should we now call him ‘Son of God?’
My wife Bunty has started praying to him & has constructed a small shrine devoted to him.
It consists of ear bandages & a sculpture of Donald on the cross made out of carrots.
Praise the Lord!

I’m totally with President Trump.
We had an empire once.
We won the World Cup.
We won the Falklands War.
We voted Brexit.
Let’s get OUR OIL back!
Time to stop being woke wimps & invade the Straits of Hormuz.
Let’s make Britain great again & help this brave, likeable President.🇬🇧

Davina McCall hang your head in shame!😤
At 70 years old you are much loved so why dance to wrap music & punk rock with drug addicted socialists & vegans?
Take a leaf out of Theresa May & Maggie’s book.
Two wonderful women who just loved to dance both beautifully & non politically too!

I had no idea who Scott Mills was before today.
But when a respected & morally upright journalist like Dan Wooden starts asking questions you know Mills must be in trouble.
Dan Wooden is highly regarded with a pristine private life. He like all of us has every right to know!

Vicky Shaw
Reform UK
Shadow Nurse

Sonnet, an unfortunate young female student from California studying at The University of Miami, was obviously unaware that the irritating & scruffy old English bloke who kept pestering her was in fact Boris Johnson…one of the world’s greatest lovers.
😉😱

Sonnet, an unfortunate young female student from California studying at The University of Miami, was obviously unaware that the irritating & scruffy old English bloke who kept pestering her was in fact Boris Johnson…one of the world’s greatest lovers.
😉😱