Like, I moved a year and a half ago. Where is there stuff in my pantry that expired in 2023? We will never know.

Ugh! Reno’s are the worst! I hope things speed up soon.

I go once a week lol. It isn’t great for me, but it’s fucking delicious. I know I will not be on my deathbed wishing I’d had less Candente.

A highland tequila flight with 3 shots, one blanco, one reposado, one anejo on a wooden tray

Hell yeah brother! This one goes out to Astros, who are fucking winning for once!

A plate of rice, beans, enchiladas, and a taco in the foreground. In the background, a spicy margarita, beef fajita nachos, and a husband with some chicken tacos al carbon

Taking the week off cooking, but eating absurdly well regardless! Tex Mex is truly the greatest cuisine.

Frozen! You forgot to mention frozen! Standard old cookie dough will kill you lol

Bread is a rollercoaster!!

I’m actually really pleased with the crumb! It’s more open than I thought it would be. Huzzah progress!!

I don’t know why, but I do default to he/him ing my doughs. I also she/her sauces? I think it might be a personal quirk lol

Ok cool but humans don’t run to get places. We run because it makes us healthy. What is the point of a robot doing it? Is it good for his hinges?

The bread is baked and on a wire rack to cool. It looks ok but I don’t know! Ahhh!! Bread is hard!

Idk guys. I’m not allowed to cut him yet, but the top loaf squished the bottom loaf a bit. And he’s a bit soft. I won’t judge until I cut him, but I’m sad. Learning bread is hard.

The dough is now shaped into a cottage loaf! He’s on a parchment lined cookie sheet

I have shaped him. I cut some time off the first rise cause he looked like he was about to fall. Now he gets a bench proof before the oven.

The dough has risen! He’s only halfway through but he’s almost doubled already!

He’s so beautiful and only halfway through his first rise. I believe in him! This beautiful dough boy is going to make an excellent cottage loaf!

A ball of dough in the bottom of a stand mixer bowl. He needs an hour to rise

Look at that matte texture! I think the autolyse helped! He’s beautiful! Now he must grow!!

The autolyse is fun! I know many bemoan the patience baking requires, but I really love mixing a few things, sitting down for half an hour, and coming back to mix more things. Breaks are awesome.

And I’ll use a spoon handle to make the hole instead of my fingers. They’re not long enough and I ended up squishing the bread down on one side, creating the lean. Extra oops.

I’m waiting on the butter to soften now. Last time I only gave it like 20 minutes. Oops. Then I’m thinking an autolyse before I add the yeast. I really want an airy texture. And I think I might hand knead it just to make sure I beat the hell out of it for some good gluten formation.

A cottage loaf. It is wonky! The top ball is too big and the whole thing has a lean to it. It will be better this time

Taking another crack at a Cottage Loaf today. It was the first bread I made this year in my quest to get good at bread and I made some mistakes. This time it will be perfect, and not like the wonky fucker here.

Hot dogs don’t count if they’re at the ballpark! It is known!

Any time Monica Bellucci isn’t on screen the audience should be asking where’s Monica

Yes! (And so do I!)

🫡

Sir. This is a masterpiece. Incredible work.

Ahhh!!

Spent the day with her today, and I love my sister so much. She’s so cool. We grew apart for awhile but we’re coming back together in middle age and that makes me so happy. I was dreading today (cause my mother) and I couldn’t have been more wrong. Excellent Saturday. One for the books.

It was enormous! And I was tender headed as a kid, so lots of crying occurred on wash days.

Y’all remember Clutch City?

Two young girls in front of a flower bush. I’m the blonde on the left in a Clutch City Rockets tee and baggy pants. My sister is the taller brunette on the left in some sort of floral monstrosity

Found a picture of me and my sister when we were kids. It is the most 1994 a photo has ever been. That’s me on the left in the Rockets tee and ill fitting pants.

The worst! When I was like 13 I got an awful rash all over my chest and they asked if the medical student could observe. I said yes and he ended up being just insanely hot and I was so embarrassed! 13 with barely any tits, covered in what turned out to be staph. Ugh!

I love him. I aspire to his level of chill during the mass casualty. That’s exactly the personality you want in a crisis. We need a night shift spin off so bad!