Starting a mid-decade redistricting war only to end up with -1 seats is the same fine strategic genius and subtle grasp of game theory that brough us the Strait of Hormuz.

Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

HEY MAN
WHAT THE FUCK

WHY IS EVERY CANDIDATE IN THE CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR’S RACE A TOTE BAG OF MEDICAL WASTE

Men: don't be sociopaths.

Thanks.

Man, when you compare the bravery of every day Minnesotans to the overpaid cops it’s astounding

There was a point in my leftward drift when I was uncomfortable with ACAB and abolition language due to fear of crime.

Then one day I thought to myself - Hmm.. i've actually been a victim of crime. Once a minor car burglary, once serious sexual assault.

No cop ever did anything useful for me.

your average citizen would’ve been inside that house in 30 seconds, but cops are the most cowardly of us

The social media pivot from chronological timelines to popular-first was done at least partly to throttle real time organizing

If the police were competent, Melissa and her husband could have potentially survived.

the Phillies cannot be remotely normal and bless them for it

“Feud with the Pope” is BACK as a likely Wikipedia section heading after a 400-year gap.

Cool. My electric mixer stirs faster than my finger

"They were so lucky I was looking"

Ummm no. Stopping in time for a child running onto the street is not heroic/lucky, it is your goddamn obligation as a driver. Cost of entry. Kids are allowed to be unpredictable, you are not.

MULDER: The Director of the FBI wants us to investigate a disease where he wakes up with headache, upset stomach and a wet bed
SCULLY: Mulder, I think he's just hung over
MULDER: Sounds like you haven't heard of a little thing called the Tijuana Blues

To be fair if I were Kash Patel I would also drink an enormous amount

The head of the FBI isn't supposed to be getting blackout drunk. He's supposed to be cross-dressing

Trump: WE HAVE DEAL!

Markets: HOORAY!!

Iran: We don't.

Trump: THE STRAIT IS OPEN FOR ALL!!

Markets: ALL RIGHT, LFG!!

Iran: It is not.

Trump: WE'RE GETTING ALONG GREAT WITH IRAN!!

Markets: OH MY GOD AWESOME!!

Iran: The fuck is wrong with you?

Also, hoping the lady who says Obama is guilty of treason, the guy who thinks Trump is Jesus, the lady sleeping with her security detail and who drinks on the job, and the guy who harvests raccoon penises will vote the president mentally unfit for office doesn't seem like the soundest strategy.

incredible line from someone with a documented interest in public sexual activity

Exactly one year ago today:

America used to mean something

I know this is @davidjroth.bsky.social's bit, but no quote has ever sounded more like a coach who's 2-8 (1-7 in conference) whose starting QB is already in the portal and whose entire defensive backfield is liking and reposting videos of him tripping over his headset cable

What the fuck does that mean?

600,000 people bought Donald Trump's meme coin. Their collective losses on this investment: $3.87 Billion.
World Liberty Financial (Trump/Witkoff crypto scam) made $350 million on trading fees. I want every penny of the Trump family wealth frozen and confiscated, it's not purely for retribution.

Jay from Bluesky telling people the site is engineered by LLM code from devs and non devs.

We can tell.

Lololol imagine he wears his jersey in the delivery room I’m dead 😭 those lame ass AI posts are wild

OpenAI: We’re burning money like the Joker. A miracle needs to happen for us to turn a profit

Microsoft: Please please use our AI systems, we’re teetering on the edge here

Anthropic: I wonder what’ll kill us first: lawsuits, regulations or model collapse

Media and universities: AI is here to stay

There is no feud. Leo gave voice to the church’s highest values. Trump said Leo was “soft on crime.” This is not a story of equals. It’s a story featuring a grown man and a man baby.