Oof felt this one lol
Sometimes I'm just a girl-coded little guy

TRANSIT: sitcom featuring exclusively trans employees working IT jobs for a transit center

The list of ways insects cause plant damage sounds like a string of insults. You wood-boring, sap-sucking, cone-feeding gall formation, you

I love using the phrase "pregnant person" because it summons the cisnormative gender fascists saying "dOn'T yOu MeAn pReGnAnT WOMAN?" and when I ask "are women not people?" they never respond

Can confirm

donald glover saying ‘good’ in his standup special

“birth rates are collapsing”

Singular all y'all

I'm not weak on crime, I'm hard-on crime

But then if you make fun of an objectively ugly person's actual real face, and they happen to be from a genocidal ethnostate, it's not just rude, it's also antiseptic

Some people are just objectively ugly. The vast majority of people surveyed would say "yep, they're ugly" to a picture.
No one can pick their parents, the spermie and eggy that fuse, the phenotypic expression of their genes. Making fun of people over something they have no control over is just rude

Synchronizing my brainwave activity with an extraterrestrial

I wonder how much of my life is spent waiting for single-use passcodes

Screen shot of text conversation with my mom. She said: "on news I saw to stay away & not touch a tussock caterpillar. One lady had to go to hospital. Just want you to be aware cause I know you love critters." (So true, I fucking love critters.) I respond "dang she must have had a severe allergic reaction." Mom then says "I saw it on a couple news channels to not touch them. It's possible she did. Their spine is poisonous & you can't touch the hairs." I sent a couple pictures of tussock caterpillars, "couple different kinds. They're very cute lol." (She said lol)

I'm not NOT touching urticating hairs

I can't help but read his rants as an angsty middle school girl writing in her secret diary

Screenshot from The Guardian article titled "photo of novelty check suggests Epstein 'sold' Trump a woman for $22,500." In the pic, Epstein is holding the giant check and a woman on the left has her face censored with a black box.

Melania, are you the "fully depreciated [redaction]" your husband purchased from Epstein?
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

EFTA00090773: "Zempoli was trying to buy Elite Models with Epstein. Epstein introduced Melania Trump to Donald Trump."

EFTA00579769: Melania emails "Dear G!: nice story about JE in NY mag. You look great on the picture" and Ghislaine responds calling her "sweet pea" (term she used for Jeffrey??)

(I sweat a lot)

Sometimes you just have to buy a new shirt and give yourself a whore's bath in the pool hall bathroom

Learning about integrated pest management in Bug Class and the new band name is Chicken Shit Pit Fly Pupae Parasite

Kids, I'm very disappointed in you right now. We had an agreement... No, Israel, do not interrupt me. I'm not going to tell you what 'ceasefire' means again.

Has anyone tried meeting with certain world leaders and using the mom voice on them

Cause of death: heard a recording of their own voice

Did Bryon Noem get paddled by a woman with massive mommy milkers? Bonus points if she was a nun.

Ok, way too many states still allow corporal punishment (or disregard the ban). That's absurd. What a savage way to treat the people of your country. Children! We know how the Epstein Class feels about children. United States: do better. Be best.

All that corporal punishment created a generation of conservative men with kinks they're ashamed of and now they're taking it out on the world

Masterful 4D checkers gambit. Fart of the deal. *double handjob dance*

Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
Taco taco man (taco man)
I've got to eat a chicken taco, man
*double handjob dance*

1st Wave playing Life During Wartime, The Walls Came Down, and It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) back to back was a violent choice for the morning drive 🫠

Trump LOVES doing amazing things no one has ever done before. So how about that 25th Amendment 🫠

I'm sorry, Trump thinks the *US* can charge tolls to use the Strait of Hormuz? jfc put grandpa to sleep already