If you see this face,

A) Your very soul just got dump trucked,

and

B) You're about to hear something like "Head's up, buttercup" but it absolutely changes your life.

#ThePitt

No relation.

“Seems late in the game to still have raw pork” — Top Chef, bay-beeeeee!

First guy to get leprosy from an armadillo, there’s a story.

Here for a Beast Mortos-Speedball Mike Bailey Best of 101 series #AEWDynamite

Throwback jackets. The bigger the logo the bigger the (real life) miss.

Power Slap but for friends saying what they really think of your shoes

Ummm DOGE just emailed to ask me if I have any pages on how white guys order Mexican food?

Aw man Slack is down, who’s going to read my pithy comments about email structure?!

Wife got home from her trip yesterday, so she should be all unpacked in about 4 years.

How often are you supposed to change dryer sheets? I’m still on the one that came with the house.

Because laughter makes the world go round 🤣 Caption This 👇

“Let’s go tongues!” Said the creepiest guy in your dorm.

TAILS NEVER FAILS

Amazing I don’t know anyone who’s been on House Hunters. Or murdered.

If I didn’t want to ever be known as a wrestling fan, I wouldn’t do something close to John Cena’s “you can’t see me”. Would not even put my hand by my face. That’s not an option.

B/c if I did, people would see me as a Nazi- er, sorry “wrestling fan”. That would be a signal.

Somehow, we all just agreed to stop calling it the Willenium.

Gronk and Sam Elliott can both clearly afford their own house.

three men dressed as mariachis stand in a dirt field ALT: three men dressed as mariachis stand in a dirt field

“You’ll be visited by three spirits…”

The three spirits:

You never know it’s the last time you slammed your laptop shut.

NOSFERATU serves as a vital reminder that no matter how demonic a vampire may appear, they remain totes horny.

Can’t wait to get some brew dogs and watch Conclave with the boys.

Thirsty ass whale

MJF-Adam Cole main evented the biggest AEW show ever last year.

Now it’s 4th-5th from the top for a ring.

Brody is ready for the next level. Different look, great offense, fans believe him. You can put him against any of their champions and get a great program.

Love the Blacklist. The log-lines are either:

ILLUSIONS OF GRANDEUR: A Victorian socialite must invent time travel if they hope to stop the love of their life from starting the Vietnam War.

OR

DEB: The story of Deb.

Who let Tom Brady eat a strawberry?!

Here’s something from me on this Giving Tuesday— an unsubscribe!

(Studio audience laughs, high-fives are given between the writers, a lot cat is backed over by an Express Messenger van)

Hang it in the Louvre, in a Zubaz frame stained with wing sauce and Blue Light.