Look, all I’m saying is I’ve never been blocked by a good looking person

she’s a 10, but she won’t let you borrow a few tucks

(sees a Congresswoman wearing brass knuckles and holding a knife) Well I'd vote for her in a heartbeat

i miss the days of empty headed bliss

sex is great, if you can find anyone emendable to the idea

rectum!? damn near killed em’!

Pick your 5th Ninja Turtle:

Galápagos

stay safe out there kids, starting to think the stupids are contagious

i wish that dandelions minded their own business the way the other two do

backyard filled with clover, violets and dandelions

term limits for everything, except for going down on your mom

i’m so excited for my mouth guard fitting, because there has been a large uptick for sure 🥹

does anyone else work with the stupidest ppl ever, or is it just me?

he’s a 10, but he’s always stopping in doorways

Please excuse me while I slip into another tattoo session.

lo fi beats to re-examine your life to

mark me down as less than enthused

Sent a stool sample in with my tax filing since they want to be all up in my shit

“Why are you like this?”

I DON’T FUCKING KNOW BRO

-me, to me

me to me; jfc that’s dark dude

me to me; no yeah, i see it now

there’s no blood on my hands i doubled up on my gloves

There's no blood on my hands
I have people take care of that for me

sometimes you just gotta get high about it…ya know

starting to think…i’m not the only one thinking about butthole on here

i just hope we can get back to the important science now, like which came first mini corn dogs, or the air fryer?

Oh, that scar? Rug burn, '88.

because there is so much shit going on right now…it feels a little weird to bring this up, but i’m full of all kinds of sights, sounds, and aromas

kind of a total package really

astronauts sometimes describe a transcendent feeling of connection with all human beings when viewing the earth from space, an effect previously only achievable by taking a little edible and grilling hot dogs in the sunshine

bsky going down this much reminds me of your mom bc she too is unstable and you should really think about getting her a walker

Oops. Lost my will to live.