I really think they need new writers for this season of earth

me: [ranting about current beauty standards and how unrealistic they are and explaining why I don't want to follow them or be upheld by them]

her: [tries to console me by telling me I fit the current beauty standards]

why pretend to listen, can't you just tell me you couldn't follow along?

dude *was* partially right, my sisters are gorgeous as hell but he was definitely wrong for trying to incite infighting

and... I hope my sisters meant well, even if their reaction was fucked up

but I really love that quote, "pretty isn't the tax I pay to exist as a woman"

today has been a long year

one time, I was out with my sisters & this rando shouted at us "you're all beautiful, except for you, you're ugly" w/o indicating which one the ugly one was

immediately, my sisters turned to me to console me that he didn't know what he was talking about

that's how I realized I was the ugly sister

did you see that Amber Nash has a podcast about Archer? it's called "rephrasing", which is pretty much the best title for it

you can still privately shame the pics in dms with a friend 😉

it was! excited to see how your ribs turn out

this week, I sauteed Italian sausage with diced onions, and combined it with gnocchi and a creamy pesto sauce. the creamy pesto sauce was just pesto, cream cheese, sour cream, and chicken stock

I don't think there's ever going to be a situation where a stranger takes it upon themselves to message me daily that I'd willingly oblige to

share of a reddit post r/offbeat u/taxowlbear • 1 day ago Jesus was a psychedelic mushroom, a controversial theory suggests. could it reshape Christianity forever? u/jesusisthebrehhhd • 1 day ago no he wasn't. he was yeast. he is literally bread. he turns water into wine, yeast. he was put in in a cave for 3 days and on the third day he had risen, sourdough. man was yeast.

@henchman21.bsky.social happiest henchamania!

I actually had a calendar notification pop up on my phone today to remind me that henchamania is approaching

loot drops after defeating me:

[common] couple strands of fur
[uncommon] tangled yarn bits
[rare] candy wrappers
[epic] persistent earworm (equippable)
[legendary] 1" hair claw with broken teeth
[mythic] half a stale dorito chip

🤨

hope you're feeling better now

I'd suggest we boycott sleep, but apparently I'm already mostly doing that unintentionally 😅

my dreams have been giving me hella undue guilt trips lately

I dunno what our subconsciouses think they're doing to us, but it's not welcome

I'm sorry 🫂

yay! I hope you like it. no worries at all if it's not your cup of tea, though

@henchman21.bsky.social have I recommended the book "Automatic Noodle" to you, yet?

it's been so long since I've seen the movie, I'm definitely overdue for a rewatch

aw, that's a shame, I feel like that one would probably taste like Christmas if it was good

but grape Sprite is delish

the shrinkage!! (especially if it's near an air conditioner)

(I started the cold flashes part of perimenopause, so I might be in my extra evil character arc)

iron speedo for maximum discomfort

I heard they got Maggie Simpson to make a cameo, too! No word on Bart and Lisa, though