Thanks Crit! I’ve got the best possible team I can behind me and I know they’ll take good care of me when the time comes. 🩵

Cataract in my good eye has grown and is on the cusp of affecting my vision. Next step is the retina specialist in June, then I’ll be seeing the surgeon for my next check up next year, unless my vision changes beforehand.

Gotta take my TF meds

The best art always comes from those who are enthusiastic to make it.

Therapy last night was a whole new level of intense that I’ve never experienced. I’m so drained today and could really use a hug and some love.

I have to baby this eye since it’s the only one I have left. I can’t play tennis anymore nor can I play baseball, let alone catch a ball due to my depth perception issues and everyday things like reading or driving are just getting harder and harder.

You know what sucks? Noticing that you can no longer see things you were once able to see. My vision is slowly degrading and there’s nothing I can really do about it until it gets to a point where I /need/ surgery, and who knows if the surgery is even going to work.

While talking to my therapist about relationships, she said…

“You are by far the most supportive partner I have ever known”

This is something I am truly proud of.

I think tonight with therapy I wanna bring up my abandonment issues, because it’s definitely getting worse.

I’m having a really hard time making close connections with people because I have this feeling that I know at some point I’ll be abandoned by them, so it’s kinda like why bother? 😬

I’m in need of a superb owl for my party!

💙💜

This is just something I’ve noticed.

I do have cons I’m planning to attend and people I’m planning on seeing, hoping it will break this cycle.

I’m becoming more and more reclusive. I don’t reach out to people as much, I don’t really talk about my feelings as much, I’ve been canceling therapy appointments, I don’t really get out as much either.

I feel like I’m rotting away and slowly disappearing, and I’m alright with it.

Thank you. It’s been weird to be blindsided by all of this. I think I deserve to take however long it takes.

I go to the extreme when styling my facial hair. I use a heat gun to lightly warm up the wax, comb it through and make sure everything is set and symmetrical, then I quickly run outside where it’s about 25 degrees to let it firm up in place. 😂💅

The fact that my ex fiancé broke off our relationship mid November and I already have someone telling me to “move on” is wild.

Am I not allowed to grieve at my own pace? I’m so confused and second guessing if I’m doing this right or not? I don’t understand.

A small light brown and white bunny lies stretched out on a light carpet.

The animal crossing update dropped. I’m getting high, ordering out, cuddling the cat, and playing that this evening. 🥰

I thought it was an hour later than it actually is. I just wanna go home and give my cat a hug. 🥺

I’m in the same place and it’s rough. I’m sure your friends who care about you and know you well will be understanding for the space you’ve taken. These sort of things can use a lot of energy and that’s okay. 😊

Slept for almost 11 hours last night. Must’ve been needed.

I’m debating on taking tomorrow off. I’m so exhausted and really need a mental health day or something.

You never need excuses for latex. 😊

Cocktails last night were a success, that’s a plus.

Merry shitmas

Merry Christmas. This Christmas hasn’t felt good. I’m feeling incredibly sad and depressed. It was nice spending it with my parents as much as I did, but it’s just not the same.

I usually like to plan some sort of cocktail for Christmas Eve, but this is the first time I’m officially being put in charge of it and creating an original recipe for it. I’m sure it’ll turn out good, I do this sort of thing somewhat often, but only time will tell.

I got home from work, showered, and immediately napped. I just woke up and am now headed to bed. Pretending to be happy and positive is incredibly exhausting. I’m looking forward to hopefully sleeping my weekend away.

If bed rot was an Olympic sport, I’d be bringing in the gold.