I’ve been fucking around with the blow dryer after my haircut and I’m feeling it sorry I’m not leaving the house tonight so this is how you all have to see my haircut xoxoxoxoxo

Like when M*tt and I got m*rried, we were a 1 car operation, now that we’ve expanded the fleet, I can say this now. I’ve dreamt of this since I was a little boy

I now know how powerful straight women feel when they say “oh sorry it’s been a crazy morning, I took my husbands car to work today”

I don’t need your Feb 15 trauma dumps babe we’ve never met and all you do is thirst comment on my shit - take a lexapro and call a therapist

Boston is on track for another storm so if you need me I’ll be looking like this hope that’s ok and if it’s now then GFY

Oh my

She was a pioneering lesbian though

Lowballing people on poshmark while you’re a little tipsy is fun until they accept the offer oops

Twitter algo is just feet bellies and socks so make my bsky the same thx

Dad, I don’t want to watch grey gardens again

Took a few months off from the gym but it’s day 2 of going back and I’m planning to go again tomorrow and NYE pls clap and have a thick pic

Hope your Christmas was filled with good lighting and cozy footwear

Genesis GV80 interior at night POV from Cam

This car is insane - low RPM V6 sounds get me off tho

We named him tedzy because he’s the spitting image of teddy kennedy, you know before he got FAT

Bustin’ makes me feel good

I looked at the trap, Ray

A truck in this city? She’s so butch and obviously has parking skills

I said intelligent twice because he was so smart and he was also kinda manipulative but in the cutest way. Such a little brat. I wouldn’t change a thing. Now I’m crying again

We said goodbye to Cooper this morning. He came with my husband but quickly became my dog as well. I’ll miss him so dearly. He was an intelligent, loving, bright, and intelligent little soul. I’ve been sobbing for a good chunk of today and the house feels so empty without him ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Great brand for us big boys

Ahsan and I at dbar

Wow who’s this @squatterotter.bsky.social

Running around the house with a vacuum in one hand a cigarette in the other and culture club blasting (jk on the cigarette but it fit the vibe)

The word umami is so weirdddddddd

I can’t have you 2 interacting I just can’t

*talks a bunch of shit about a man to a friend*

“But yeah other than that I think you guys would be cute together”

Doing stuff for a wedding is literally akin to being back in a masters program. You’re doing it off work hours, in spreadsheets, and begging for validation from the planner when you finish a task

Something important had a headache

Might be a unit but can still sorority squat

This is click/rage bait toph

Btw never call my cell phone I won’t answer that’s for business purposes and my mother