I think my number 1 pet peeve is people who engage you in conversation, and then actively refuse to speak loud enough for you to hear. You get two “I’m sorry, could you please speak up a little?” before I’m just fully a looping gif until you finish.
DM: I’m in hell. What about you?
P4, dressed in an old-timey strongman leotard: I’m a barbarian, and will be taking no follow-ups questions.
DM: This is gonna be a serious campaign, not our usual goofy circus nonsense.
*later*
DM: So what characters do we have?
P1: I brought a bard who’s a stage magician.
P2: I brought a rogue who’s also a stage magician.
DM: Oh come on.
P3: I have a ranger-
DM: Ok, well-
P3: he’s a lion tamer.
🎶Just a single dad who works too hard,
Who loves his kid,
And fights with Quark🎶
Recently learned about raddle.quest ; it is now my entire personality, and this will continue until I’ve worked through the backlog.
Never thought I’d say “This dude fuckin’ rules” about the head of the Catholic Church, but 2026 is a weird year.
Tonight I wrapped up a D&D campaign with my high school friends. It wasn’t perfect, but it survived 5 years, a global pandemic, multiple graduations and the birth of 4 children. Games are magic. Especially the ones with magic.
My inner monologue is constantly fluctuating between “the best revenge is a life well lived” and “the easiest revenge is bludgeoning”
A comics image of Moon Knight descending a staircase saying “I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, BLUESKY YOU BIG FUCKING NERD. WHERE'S MY GODDAMN DRAFTS FOLDER”
I will continue to ask this until the issue is resolved.
Harlan: “Ugh, fine, I’ll just make it some bullshit about an AI torturing humans for fun.”
Harlan Ellison’s “I Have No Feet and I Must Hum.”
A hummingbird in a nest that perfectly cradles its body. No legs are visible (because they’ve been rendered pointless).
Fair. If my nest looked this f***in’ cozy, I’d chop off my legs and never leave home again.
Naturally, this triggered a conversation between @dmjazzyhands.bsky.social and I because we’re insufferable and we (I) have concluded this is not as dumb a question as it seems, but it is the WRONG question.
The correct question is “Why do hummingbirds have feet?”
(I am completely sober right now)
Did I read this title in @dmjazzyhands.bsky.social’s Tatyrina accent? Yes. Yes I did
I hit my reading goal this year and now I’m making that your problem!
Come watch me tier rank the 57 books I read this year today at 1 PM ET at twitch.tv/ellisthe12th
Finally watching Del Toro’s Frankenstein and my full thoughts are TBD, but I will say that I was not prepared for Lauren Collins to make an appearance, and my partner was DEFINITELY not prepared for my 20 minute info dump about her iconic time as Paige Michalchuk on Degrassi: The Next Generation.
Failures as a white dude: haven’t seen Back to The Future or *gasp* The Godfather
Failures as an actor/theatermaker/person with a BFA: haven’t seen or read Hamlet in its entirety (and at this point it’s become a game to see how long I can keep that streak going)
Self-tape auditions are a pain in the ass, but sometimes they give you an excuse to shout “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” at your boyfriend and that is a 10/10 experience that I cannot recommend enough.
Dealer: Name of the game is 5 card stud.
Player 1: I’m in.
Player 2: I’m in.
Me, wearing only 5 playing cards taped strategically to my body: So there’s been a misunderstanding.
One terrible thing about being from a small town is when you casually use a folksy phrase from home and immediately think "God, I hope that doesn't have a racist origin."
Everyone argues about who the villain of Devil Wears Prada is, but we can all agree the moral of that story is “If you live in New York, your friends, lover, coworkers and boss will all be huge assholes.”
New mother: Actually, we’d prefer to use ‘they/them’ pronouns until the baby is old enough to-
Me: Are you asking me to stop referring to your baby as “it”?
NM: Yes, please and thank you.
Much like all Dragon Quest games need Slimes and all Final Fantasies need Chocobos, all Silent Hills need an Ungodly Amalgamation of Ass and Titties that Represents the Oedipal Complex or Whatever.
It’s good to see the Silent Hill monster design team are still some of the biggest perverts to ever walk God’s green Earth.
“You don’t have a problem, lots of people have a glass of wine or two while they make dinner” I tell myself as I pull my 5-minute lasagna from the microwave.
Listen, if I knew the answer, I’d respond to you both.
I don’t workout to “get healthy”, I workout to “become the undead.”
The other day, a nurse told me my resting heart rate has gotten so low that it’s “basically the bare minimum to sustain life” and apparently “Sweet, almost to my goal” was NOT the response he wanted.
