I have to wake up early as fuck for the aforementioned 56 hrs this week but have stayed up way too late baking the aforementioned 8 loaves of banana bread 💔

my life might be a little fucked at the moment but at least I got 8 loaves of banana bread & 56 hrs this week 💯

still feels weird to call myself "girlfriend" or "she" and I still be calling myself by my old name in my head sometimes lmfao I do not think I am a woman but I am not a man and life being openly whatever I am would be too painful 😎👍 I do not hate being a woman it just doesn't feel right

I would rather die than be the mom girlfriend ever again

But I do like the guy I'm supposed to go on a date with. But that's already causing drama at the church & I recently found out some stuff about him that makes me see him a lot different and he would NOT be a stable partner either. I might just cancel the date, not do anything & protect my peace

And I'm not judging like we were in the exact same position, but he's still at the shelter & is having a hard time like finding anything right now and I can't be with him if everything collapses and idk if that's like selfish but I feel like I want stability more than anything in a relationship

okay friend sent me like a good night's kiss bitmoji thing and I really can't go on that date Friday I have so much emotionally invested in him. What sucks is we met in the homeless shelter. I got him his job & like I want him to be a little more together before getting into anything

Like not really, I can't read if he's flirting with me or not but we have nothing romantic going on. We sit next to each other for like an hr on the bus everyday & text a lot & try to take lunches together & like I bring him food & baked goods but idk if he's developing the feelings I have been

is it unethical to go on a date with another guy when im developing insane feelings for my friend & coworker

found the note I wrote before the attempt that stopped my heart and I wish that version of me could see where I am now. it gets so much better actually

dug into my notes app never doing that shit again lmfao

got a new lipstick bc the bus only takes cash & i didn't wanna go to the atm & i thought it would be cute but it looks like i eated mud 💔💔

Donate to Please Help Me Get to My Fathers Funeral, organized by Angela Nelson My family is facing a very difficult time right now. My father has recently pas… Angela Nelson needs your support for Please Help Me Get to My Fathers Funeral

Hey y'all, my close friend's father has passed after a long battle with cancer, and she's trying to raise money to travel to/help her mother with the memorial service. Any help is appreciated 💜 keep her in your prayers if that's something you do gofund.me/50e89ae92

Talkshow Boy - I Know A Girl Who Spots Foxes YouTube video by Craig Ronny

music.youtube.com/watch?v=aEbd... bangerr

model guy heart eye reacted my story & texted me oh he won't me

4/19 - 1,978

Had a potluck celebrating the anniversary of the church I sometimes go to meetings at's formation. It was really fun, I ate a TON but just made it OMAD & I don't think another bad day this week is gonna kill me. Probably skipping dinner tomorrow though idk

4/ 18 - 1,404

forgor to post, made cookies & tried a tiny bit of the icing from those on cookies I stole from work. really gotta eat less sugar

In my dream I woke up from another dream where I had a huge crate of absolutely tiny apples & broccoli & I'd allow myself one if I got hungry and went straight to dream bsky to post about the dream. Somebody replied, "like this? (+an emoji of a hand holding an impossibly small apple)"

had to click off of a yt vid bc the ytber has lost weight & they were already thin and im crying about being fat el em ah oh

Forgot my morning meds for like 3 days straight, took them today and have felt so depressed like for no reason out of nowhere what gives .. wellbutrin do the thing

Had the most vivid dream about bleaching my hair and it felt like a premonition

4/17 - 1,329

Roommate has chronic pain & was having a bad day, so our friend brought some fried chicken (whilst I was cooking her dinner but at least she'll have that for tmr) & I couldn't get away with not having it even tho it's a fear food. Discovered I really like chickpeas (+collarbone check)

i LOVE spending too much money on clothes that won't fit me in a month

Friend said I look like I've lost weight unprompted and I acted my ass off like, "huh weird I guess I have been eating better"

yes 💯‼️

got eyeliner & mascara a couple days ago bc roomie gave me an eyeshadow pallet & some lip gloss today. Embarrassing to be learning makeup at 21 but better late than never

4/16 - 1,647

Trying to not fast/overexercise/vom purge bc compensating for binges never works & I spiral downwards. I walked, didn't count it. I had spaghetti with my AA group & it was worth it. I got all the stuff to bake banana bread, key lime cookies, & cinnamon rolls for church & a potluck

told my AA group about recovering from bulimia but im just developing BED so like is this any better

4/15 - 3,214

I don't wanna talk about it