Songs I can't hear without picturing the drag race lip sync:
So Emotional
Body
Two of Hearts
Vibeology
Malambo no 1
Firework
This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)
Dancing on My Own
Twist of Fate
Shut Up and Drive
And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going
Pound the Alarm
Phone
Boss Bitch

Walk into the club like, what up, I got a big cock.

There's nothing that will make me hang up a phone faster than a recording telling me "don't hang up."

I am at a Japanese restaurant. The music playing is very interesting: Deftones when I came in, a cover of T.A.T.U.'s "all the things she said," and now Soft Cell. Not "tainted love," as one would expect, but "sex dwarf".

Dear editors: please tell your authors that smirk is not a synonym for smile.

Bitchin' Camaro! Bitchin' Camaro!
Donuts on your lawn.
Bitchin' Camaro! Bitchin' Camaro!
Tony Orlando and Dawn.

Is your mother worried? Would you like us to assign someone to worry your mother?

Seventh and final stop for gas: middle of nowhere tourist trap, NM. 2296.3 miles traveled. Unleaded price per gallon: $3.04. 😬 31.72 mpg.

Perhaps it's not the best idea to listen to Sunrise on the Reaping while driving. 😭

Sixth stop for gas: childress, TX. 1969.4 miles traveled. Unleaded price per gallon: $2.52. 32.87 mpg.

Fifth stop for gas: van, TX. 1645.5 miles traveled. Unleaded price per gallon: $2.69. 30.55 mpg.

Fourth stop for gas: port barre, LA. 1333.7 miles traveled. Unleaded price per gallon: $2.56. 34.02 mpg.

Here I am, surrounded by the most knowledgeable nerds I've ever known, and I want to make a reference that I think might be *too* niche.

Third stop for gas: bunkie, LA. 1010.3 miles traveled. Unleaded price per gallon: $2.69. 32.11 mpg.
Pulled up to the pump next to a group of Bandidos and cleaned my windshield with a squeegee taller than I am.

Second stop for gas: Terrell, TX. 686.6 miles traveled. Unleaded price per gallon: $2.85. 33.99mpg.

It's a good thing it's 5am, because I feel the siren call of meow wolf deep in my soul.

Yes'm!

Ahh, nothing smells like an allsups.

First stop for gas: Clarendon, TX. 342.7 miles traveled. Unleaded price per gallon: $2.69. 34.79 mpg.

Me vs. Sean vs. trivial pursuit: 1-1-0
Lots of questions about stuff we talked about earlier in the day.

Hi Linus!

I am having an absolute mental breakdown over Sue Storm's beachy waves in the new fantastic four trailer. Help me, @frockflicks.bsky.social , you're my only hope.

Me vs. Sean vs. trivial pursuit: 1-0-0
Restarting the count after a too long break, and a glorious victory for me!

To paraphrase Lady Macbeth, who would have thought the old woman would have so much blood in her?

The thumbtack of my imagination is being pulled out of the wall - my nephew, in his sleep

They're finally snuggling together in the squishmallows bed!

I found turkey bologna and I'm so happy that I'm literally weeping at the grocery store.

"nobody wants to work anymore" says the little old lady in the line at the Joann fabrics that has had only three employees on duty at a time for the last several years like it's the potential employees' fault that the failing corporations won't hire them