like he’s ending an improv scene

and Rory has to put the green jacket on himself now yes?
has to stand behind himself, throw it in the air, then run to where he would be and try to catch it onto his body, is that correct?

dan hurley a whole bitch

this Michigan team may be the best college basketball team to have ever briefly trailed Northwestern by 15 points before eventually winning comfortably

not normally a shot caller but ink it, Trey Mckenney POY next year

is leading a top 5? 10? all time Kenpom team by 16 at the half in the final four with your best player injured good? or bad? thank you for your attention to this matter

Pastor…allow me to formally invite you to Giant Robot Fight Club

www.instagram.com/giantrobotfi...

This obviously very stupid but is it also smart? We’ll talk to some liars after this break.

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to bomb this elementary school full of kids because he thinks it makes him look cool. also his scheming viziers will be betting money on it for fun. good luck soldier

I’m 62 years old, I live in Tampa, I eat corn and beef everyday, I always have a titleist hat on, and Iran is the biggest threat to my freedom

Ten glorious years of a guy who has mostly been the president and always been the main character of American political life doing posts like this and everyone trying to figure out what cable news segment he saw, misunderstood in the way a dog might misunderstand a crossword, and made into policy.

1) going crazy fast in close quarters while wearing machetes
2) somebody could trip and fuck you up and then you wasted 4 years cuz some other idiot couldn’t keep his balance
3) you’re basically doing that thing where motorcyclaists drive around inside a ball

something I have determined after exactly 1 viewing experience is that to be a short track speed skater you have to be incredibly joker-level fucked up

“Mr. Beast Salesforce ad” - they’re calling it the least appealing phrase ever assembled in any language. They finally did it

it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world

the democrats are the kinda people who would theatrically release Morbius a third time if they vould

after 50 years in the game she was still throwing absolute gas out of the bullpen on The Studio

Best in Show clip: "You're going to show Winky" on Make a GIF _premium

Catherine O’Hara was the fucking goat. Cookie Fleck is eternal to me. This walk should’ve made her immortal

makeagif.com/i/rV71fV

the day it happens should eventually be a flag day-tier national holiday. Like we would never give it a shred of reverence but it should be a thing where we go “haaaa remember?” every year and the tradition is to throw some piss on a representative totem if you can’t make it to the actual gravesite

Tom Homan looks like a guy whose sole thing is getting impotently angry at two of the Marx brothers torturing him at his lemonade stand

SPENCER: Spencer banana shake. Cookout Spencer flavor shake
SURBUR: No, Spencer. Don’t get a banana milkshake.
SPENCER: Good flavor good Spencer give beautiful Spencer deserve banana
SURBUR: there are better flavors. Banana is a bad choice.
SPENCER: jealousy surbur
@shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

Politics hasn't been this simple in a long time: do you think it's good for one man to exercise unchecked, arbitrary power or not. Those are the two available ideologies right now

1-877-Warz-4-Oil

Trinifather Chambliss

doing this but for POP TARTS

next year, we toast the patriarch, the Ur-Tart, unfrosted and dust-flavored

MORMONS SHALL TASTE THE SECULAR FLESH OF THE WILD BERRY

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls