Not to sound Old™️, but what's Mattel done to Barbie? The quality of everything sucks from dolls to sets, you can't buy separate clothes for the little Chelsea dolls just new dolls, basic furniture is non-existent. I'm trying not to spend a million dollars just for one present for my kid's birthday 🫩

When we got Backyard Baseball '01 for the kids, I never thought I'd hear my 4yo daughter say "I love you Mike Piazza" after hitting a homerun

My 4yo calls the men on money "little boy". "Mom, I have this one with a 20 on it and this little boy! But this one with a one on it has a different little boy"

My children could one day remember me as the most loving, kind, best mother ever if I could just go grocery shopping by myself. But then I'd have to do it at 10 pm and I'm not about that life. Grocery stores + my brain + their brains =/= a good time

Does your partner ever shock you with something they don't know? My husband loves geography, watches silly history videos, plays Civilization at sometimes detrimental to sleep amounts. I was just talking about Viktor Orban and he said "I don't know who that is". My flabbers are gasted

Sorry, or not sorry to David Bowman. This art style is terrifying

My husband, in a cold-medicine & poor sleep haze: they have to keep making Toy Storys so that there's a neverending source for linux version names
Me: okay babe
Hubs: because all the versions of Linux are named after Toy Story characters!!!!!!!!
Me: okay babe

Let your kids help meal plan. Mine asked for a full pot roast meal with asparagus and brussel sprouts, their "most favorite vegetables", which is the first I'm hearing about that

I did enjoy the silence from the Mike Lee staffer when I asked if he would really excuse threats of genocide just so he could be AG

7yo: mom, I feel like you never snuggle with me anymore
Mom: I'm so sorry dude, let's snuggle right now until bedtime
~7yo proceeds to pace back and forth in front of me while dropping Plants vs Zombies lore~

write original charts for that unconventional jazz band for two years that other band teachers can now download and use, has a website (which he also built himself) where his original music can be found. Anyway, that casual musician just got to play bass for former Chicago frontman Jason Scheff 2/2

My husband playing his bass guitar on a classroom sized studio stage for YouTube's Classroom Sessions series

Former Chicago front man Jason Scheff singing in front of a banner promoting YouTube's Classroom Sessions series

Drummer Joel Stevenett and my husband playing bass on a classroom sized studio stage for YouTube's Classroom Sessions series

My husband is a very talented, very humble musician. He would call himself a casual musician. I'd agree if most casual musicians also: play more than five instruments, start a jazz band that had paying gigs and produced an album, build a high school jazz band program from nothing 1/2

7yo watching a video about the layout of Wuhu Island in Wii Sports resort 🤝 my husband watching a separate video on how you could have public transportation based on the layout of Wuhu Island in Wii Sports Resort. Is this the evolution of man?

Raining steadily here at school drop-off and it's very cute seeing all these preschoolers with their preschool sized umbrellas waiting for the doors to open. They're all bumping into each other going up and down the stairs and then laughing maniacally

My 20mo knows 3 songs by heart: "Golden", "Blackbird" by the Beatles, and our local radio station's call sign jingle

No one:
No one at all:
My children: 🎶 YOU KNOW TOGETHER WE'RE GLOWING, GOBBLEDY GOBBLEDY GOLDEN 🎶

Driving past a cemetery, 7yo says "ah, a graveyard, where all the dying people go". We explained the people are already dead, but how interesting would it be to live in an alternate reality where you had to get to a cemetery before you died or something bad/weird happens. Someone write that story

Reminding myself today that I am an adult with free will and I don't have to have a reason to make peach cobbler, I can just do it because I want it

Been watching different vampire shows, and they all dramatically bite people the same exact way my toddler does when she latches to nurse, and now I can't stop laughing

Remember parents, no matter what the Instagram Moms tell you to do for your children, do not engage in any holiday shenanigans that will make you hate yourself for having to clean up later. Don't play yourself like that

I thought he wouldn't even care enough to ask them their shoe sizes and just bought a bunch in his own size and handed them out to everyone

Oof, I forgot how wearing contacts can give you a headache 😵‍💫

My husband is a church organist, and apparently they repainted the ceilings this week and somehow damaged some of the pipes and the organist group chat is blazing right now. The facilities manager told them to be careful of the organ, but I guess didn't explain enough that the pipes are the organ

I'm a historical fiction girlie, but I finally read a contemporary novel the other day and there were 5 brand names dropped in the first two pages, and it nearly caused me to stop reading the book entirely. Just two pages in. Oh, AND it was written in first person present, the worst fiction tense

Husband, to kids: hey do you wanna see a jellybean come out of my ear?
Me, washing the dishes: no, don't!
Kids: woah cool I want to try!
Me: great, now they're going to actually get jelly beans stuck in their face holes 🤦🏽‍♀️
Husband: ah, yeah, I didn't think that one through

I still use Facebook to exclusively post news stories that I know people on my friends list would never see/read otherwise. As a result, there's been a dramatic increase in receiving out of the blue messages from people I haven't talked to in years opening with "what the hell is happening?!?!?!"

Love this for The Westing Game. It's in my top favorite books of all time

Scholastic book titled "The World's Favorite YouTubers + How to start streaming". It features Mr. Beast, Lankybox, PrestonPlayz, Nick Rh 30, GamerGirl, FGTeeV, Aphmau, $Sundee, and Ali-A on the cover

I always wanted to buy something from the book fair as a kid and rarely actually got to, so I'm pretty chill now about letting my kids pick whatever they want now they're in school. But, I refuse to let my son buy this book. It will not cross my threshold 🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️

I saw someone the other day opining about how it's morally right to leave X....from their substack

Two ADHDs diverged in a house
One inattentive, one hyperactive
The inattentive did not pay attention, left all the toys on the floor
The hyperactive did not pay attention, cut his foot on the toys on the floor
Everyone is screaming