Initial misgivings Having worked for the Civil Service, I often witnessed the thoughtless creation of ambiguous acronyms and initialisms. Could those who create new ones please pause and check whether they are already in use? SEND proposals include an ISP (individual support plan). Was the creator of this unaware that internet service providers already use ISP? S. BEAVER, St Albans, Herts

Sorry mate, you’ll need to change your surname. Already being used.

If you come into this country from a Commonwealth nation such as Pakistan, provided you can prove that you normally reside at a property within a constituency, through Commonwealth rights you get the right to vote. As a result, the thousands of those who voted Green last Thursday are not actually British citizens. And in my opinion this is having a terrifying effect on the British electoral process.

TFW your political party doesn’t win a by-election and you’re absolutely raging at those uppity brown ones that just refuse to know their place

Andrew hounded while Bill Clinton is left alone So a rich man has casual relationships with young, beautiful women. Am I missing something, what's the problem ("Andrew under pressure as more images revealed", February 1)? Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor should take up one of the generous offers from the Middle East and go where he can enjoy life. This country and his family have made that impossible here. It's a bit sick. There are others who were friends with Jetfrey Epstein. For example, why hasn't the media here and in the United States hunted down Bill Clinton? Strange. Rod Williams, Great Holland, Essex

Most of what we are learning from the Epstein Files is that rich men were having casual and consensual relationships with young, beautiful women. What's the problem with that? Am I missing something? As for Andrew, he should go to the Middle East, where he can enjoy his life. The reaction of this country, and his family, to his behaviour has made it impossible for him to stay in Britain. Rod Williams, Great Holland, Essex

SO A rich man has casual relationships with young beautiful women. What's the problem? Andrew should take up one of the generous offers from the Middle East and go where he can enjoy life. This country and his family have made that impossible here. R. WILLIAMS, Great Holland, Essex

BREAKING: Man writes to three newspapers to explain that the real victims here are wealthy men with privilege and power.

They never, ever are

Things could be worse - imagine Red Ed in No 10 Once Keir Starmer is gone we must ensure the likes of Ed Miliband never become PM, he was a failed Labour leader which the country rejected. Labour are communists, our freedoms gone and our culture and history. The Greens are even worse. Socialism has never worked, we must rid ourselves of the quangos, left-wing judiciary, diversity and net zero and get back to common sense. Tim Sayer, Bristol

“…sir, this is a Nandos.”

Daily Express

Migrant invasion should be recognised as a crime As Algeria declares the colonisation by France a crime, can we declare the colonisation of the United Kingdom by Muslim illegal migrants a crime? And to save us the trouble of asking each criminal for reparation, can we simply deport them, to save us the trouble? This talk of colonisation and reparation is nonsense. Unless you're Ukraine. How far should we go back? Shall we ask the Vikings for reparation? Or the Romans? The whole thing is ridiculous. Brett Trafford, Vyne Park, Hants

BREAKING: Historical nuance and compassion both declared optional.

Great culture can save lives. Literally.

Amazing letter in today’s @thetimes.com about Tom Stoppard

Re: Pomfretion Tuesday. Are you Brian Linford in disguise? Your rambling texts leave me con-fused. Why the reference to Thatcher? She hasn't been in office since for around 40 years! Yes, we've all got something we want to say but please proof read it first! Bedford Boy.

BEDFORD BOY happy new year Im certain we will hopefully acknowledge your comments on PROOF READING you leveled at Pomfretian who assuredly is not me. His texts like many we are all doing our best no doubt a New Year resolution now courtesy you A click a text is gone reread its OOPS! sometimes some Im sure. Brian Linford Pontefract

Oh dear enjoying maniacs but Bedford boy is seen haranguing Pomfretians proof reading implying Brian Linford is MI6 Lads cat basket if you can't get in Bedford boy sharpen your pencil Readers get the gist and enjoy Brian Pomfretian and others on page Bedford Boy Meow! when proof read is often Miaow! Happy NY to all and at Star too. Julie Liverpool

Authentic frontier gibberish

Meanwhile, on the Daily Star letters page, it’s all kicking off

The new Wokebishop of Wokerbury wishes us all a Woke New Year. D. HARTLEY, Solihull, W. Mids

Starting off 2026 with peak “how’s yer da handling the divorce?” energy from the letters page of the Daily Mail

But say a prayer In reference to Band Aid's Do They Know It's Christmas?, I'd like to point out that they probably do, as there are roughly 734 million Christians in Africa. There is also a very good chance of 'snow in Africa this Christmas time' as at least ten countries, including Ethiopia, experience this form of precipitation. STEWART MELDRUM, Newton Mearns, E. Renfrews

Top quality Christmas Day banter

Fire hazard How on earth did we survive when our parents lit candles and clipped them onto the Christmas tree? DAVID BUNN, Lee-on-the-Solent, Hants

Survivorship bias

…who wants to tell him?

Heated words I am 74 and shall stay in the sunshine for as long as I feel comfortable. I don't need some third-rate pen-pusher to tell me how to behave. Go away and get a proper job. GORDON RUDDICK, Newcastle upon Tyne

Getting skin cancer to own the libs

“The original, you might say.”

LOVED TARBUCK'S SENSE OF HUMOUR Reading the article about Jimmy Tarbuck in Tuesday's Express, I was reminded of the time when I saw him on stage at Yarmouth back in the late Sixties. He was hilarious and told a joke about a tribe called the oohmatingy tribe, they being so named because when they ran through the long grass they shouted "ooh my tingy", after which he commented as an aside... "We're not on television now". My, how times change. David Redman, Newark-on-Trent, Notts

Yeah David, nowadays comedians aren’t shite

Will white, heterosexual, able-bodied male actors ever work again? John Bunker, Olney, Bucks

FINALLY, someone stands up for that most discriminated against, marginalised group: white, heterosexual, able-bodied men in the entertainment industry. Truly they are the invisible underclass.

Allergic to Emma I totally agree with Christopher Stevens's critique of Down Cemetery Road on Apple TV (Daily Mail) and also can't stand Emma Thompson. Whenever I watch her (and I try not to), she does indeed seem to be saying: 'Look everyone, I'm acting, so pay attention. Aren't I just marvel-lous, darling?' No. LEANNE MORRIS, London N3

Fortunately for Leanne, someone was able to get word to the armed team forcing her at gunpoint to watch stuff with Emma Thompson in it and order them to stand down.

BBC headline: “Illegal migration tearing UK apart, Mahmood says.”

1) No, it isn’t.
2) This is performative cruelty and nothing else.
3) The people you’re pitching this for will never, ever, ever vote for you.

Third time unlucky As an illegal immigrant scrambles up Dover beach, he stumbles on a lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears and says: 'You have three wishes, but choose wisely.' 'I would like a never-ending banquet of fine food and drink. "Your wish is granted.' 'I would like a large house with beautiful cars on the drive.' "Your wish is granted.' 'For my last wish, I would like to be a British citizen.' With that, the first two wishes vanish, so the man asks why. 'If you're a British citizen,' the genie explains, 'you can't get anything for nothing.’ D. M. DEAMER, York

“The right is starting to get better at comedy and it's making lefties nervous.”

It’s not from the Viz. Honest. It really isn’t. Please stop saying it’s from the Viz. It’s not from the Viz.

We must never forget As a former soldier, I wear my poppy with pride and will stand silent for two minutes at 11am today. On Remembrance Sunday, I watched with pride and gratitude the veterans, who gave so much and endured unimaginable hardship defending this country, as they marched past the Cenotaph. What a contrast to the cosseted youth of today with their flapping jazz hands, safe spaces, offence counselling, gender neutrality, risk assessments and lack of stoicism. ANGUS LONG, Newcastle upon Tyne.

…..but remember, it’s the young people who are the snowflakes

Nope

Some people r afraid 2 wear a poppy in case they r called racist. Excuse me, we fought last war 2 get rid of prejudice. Mark, West Brom

DID ARE BOYZ DIE 4 THIS I AM FEWMIN

Fantasy offspring Playing a game with the family, we were given a challenge: imagine you have just given birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and think of the most outlandish names you could give them. My contribution was Germolene and Viagra. Others were Aspirin and Raspberry, Marmite and Siberia, Rhubarb and Nivea, Flourish and Cairo, Graffiti and Waitrose. Think of the poor teacher calling the register. D. WOOD, Stoke-sub-Hamdon, Somerset

“The long winter nights just fly by, they really do.”

KEIR STARMER: Just a quick note to say, “give way to the right” is really only good advice when it comes to roundabouts.

Turns out he wasn’t just a right-wing nutter in a country with unfettered access to guns! He was a poor victim of the EVIL TRANSES

They should put these people in the Olympic team because fuck me, the gymnastic abilities they’re showing off in their efforts to make this someone else’s fault are absolutely gold medal worthy.

Counting pennies and weighing beans I was interested to read your article last Sunday on how full toiletry containers are. I often have baked beans for breakfast and weigh out my beans. I have yet to find a can that has anywhere near the full amount. On average I would say that the amount of beans in a 400g or 410g can is about 392g, and whilst I know there is probably some residual liquid still in the can, I know I'm not getting what it says on the tin! Jackie Howell MBE, Lincoln

“Eight grams short! Eight grams! Sidney! SIDNEY! Get the spreadsheet updated!”

To my mind, apart from occasional reprobates, the people coming here wish for the chance to be decent, honest and hard-working, as in the general population. Perhaps we should worry at the motives of those going to great lengths to persuade us that they all are criminals. Michael Willmott, Coalville, Leicestershire

BURN HIIIIIIIM

First picture: Michael’s letter to the Daily Mail suggesting that immigrants are actually just good people looking for a better life who want to work and contribute.

Second picture: Michael five minutes after the rest of the Daily Mail readership catch up with him.