Just woke up from a dream where Shaquille O’Neal was driving me to the smokeshop to buy Kratom

Me: God people are so Tribalistic, what a silly instinct

Also me: I hope a plane carrying the Dallas Cowboys crashes directly into a field containing the entire Philadelphia Eagles organization

Too long to post as text here but too important to not post at all #thanksgiving #fallseason #christmasdecorations

Just saw #HIM & if they want to realistically show how someone like Patrick Mahomes gets his power the twist at the end should be that it’s a cult of biased referees

I’m trying to figure out how I can make a meme of the rizzler posted up with the sniper just waddling away at an immense pace outrunning the fbi

I’d like to welcome you all to the 10th annual meeting of the Pedophile Defeaters Squad, as you know we have just elected our new leader

Pedophile “has sex with children” Rapeington

​​Tim Robinson is the angel on your shoulder telling you the jack off, Connor O’Malley is the devil on your other shoulder telling you to jack on in an entirely different more devious way

A fitting tribute 🫡. #hulkhogan #kidrock

#HulkHogan Dies Doing What He Loved, Over Shadowing Other More Talented People

I had to make this really quick using some horrible iPhone photoshop app because every time I saw this picture of the couple it looked like they were appearing to the wicked witch in her orb #coldplay #coldplaycouple #andybyron #astronomer #astronomerceo #chrismartin #colplaymeme #coldplaymemes

He looks like a Tim Robinson character who is dying but can't afford to go to the doctor because he keeps spending his money on newer more elaborate fedoras

Pick 6 in the Super Bowl from a white cornerback has gotta sting extra hard. Refs about to call illegal use of whiteness and bring it back #SuperBowl

Taylor is going to leave the game in Cooper Dejean’s Jeep Wrangler

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l-q...

amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/07/...

www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/...

www.nbcnews.com/news/world/s...

Funny how this keeps happening by *accident*

How many “coincidences” can happen before we acknowledge maybe it’s not a coincidence?

I wonder if the LA wildfires started from Lavar Ball rubbing his hands together thinking off all the money they’ll make off of LiAngelo’s song #Tweaker

I wonder if he tried to blame it on Waluigi Mangione

I been pondering John travolta saying Adele dazeem

Cut My Life Into All Kinds Of Cute Little Shapes With These Cookie Cutters, Asks Chill Wisened Papa Roach

I wonder if they write little notes to each other and have their friends pass them back and forth

SEVERANCE

Man Accidentally Kills Tim Allen and Magically Transforms Into Unfunny Conservative Local man Stuart Bask magically began his transformation into an unfunny conservative after he accidentally killed comedian Tim Allen and discovered that he would now have to take his place and be jus...

It’s almost Christmas time, so time to dust this one off. thehardtimes.net/culture/man-...

Teen Stoked To Start Band With Other Kids Who Also Have Stage Fright and Can’t Play Any Instruments

Smug Man Asks Poser Lou Bega Fan To Name 5 Of His Mambos

No one has more faith in technology than a 60 year old woman yelling “SIRI WHERE IS MY SON” into her iPhone

Oh no! Man forgets to gender swap karaoke song lyrics and now he’s legally gay

D&D Campaign Enters 3rd Year Of Scheduling Conflicts, No Games Played.

Shout out to my Lyft driver for telling me I look fatter than the old picture I have on the app

Shocking reveal about #ToryLanez on Legitimate Goblin Discussion podcast with Noah Edge. Episode is available now wherever you get your podcasts!

Sorry I couldn’t pick up the phone, I was busy being radicalized by the r/aliens subreddit