It’s all good. I thought it was funny

having a minor breakdown because my food processor won't start

it should be understood by this point that any politician that talks of running America like a business is because they treat it like their golden parachute

the best part of waking up is... tbd

I have a vague recollection from my late teens to early 20s when some dumbass would ask me if I was gay, and I'd say something along the lines of, 'Well, the question is axiomatic,' which worked to deflect them and also pretty much admitted I'm a big homo

ILY stands for Indoor Lumber Yard
Just ask Lowe's

More than just a story about Andreas Hale, this sends a message to all aspiring reporters/writers to steer clear of critical coverage because it will harm your standing with access to WWE and therefore diminishes the value you bring to your outlet

Outlets need to back their reporters

a close up of a woman 's face with the words " prison honey " written below her Alt: a close up of a woman 's face with the words " prison honey " written below her

when I see John Roberts at the club

I’ve long maintained that Sesame Street and Jackass are the two greatest shows the medium of television has ever produced, representing opposite ends of the spectrum. Taskmaster somehow manages to sit directly in the middle of these two

it is rather muggy

It's funny how much more naked I look walking to the bathroom in recovery sandals than simply barefoot. Yes, I sleep naked. Whatever, it's Friday night, nobody is on Bluesky, you can say whatever you want

I'm sorry but if you don't think Slinky™ brand anal beads is funny, you have no heart

Slinky™ brand anal beads

Rick Steves' u up?

I'm absolutely sure I'm currently in what historians would call my lost years. What is less clear to me is what are my won years.

I don't think his wife would approve but I'm always on call

this guys jeans look like they're painted. maybe he just can't get out of them.

My neighbor, who is probably my age ± 3 years, is still wearing ultra-slim jeans. We are both at an age where we know styles go in and out of trend, but it is looking a little midlife crisis-y

Steve Austin Promo: You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere. Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16... Austin 3:16 says "It's Whiskey Friday."

T.G.I.W.F.

if he meets with JD, I give it 6 days max

Bluesky isn't dying, ya silly goose. Bluesky is the island on Lost; We're dead. I hope that helps clear things up.

Steve Bannon has like 6 months tops

I can tell if somebody is prejudiced just by looking at them

I ran into an issue at the self-checkout, and a worker approached with a basket. I explained the problem, and she responded by asking if I wanted to buy a brownie. Apparently, every human interaction from here on out requires a "skip ad" button.

Futuristic Utopia Meme: The World If Bluesky Shuts Down

I think we all know what we need to do here

not for nothing, but bluesky hasn't been this pleasant to use in a while

Bluesky Forbidden Alert? I hope you all remember your invite codes.

Bart Simpson as a butterfly holding a tank of gasoline

no one ever suspects the butterfly

I used to joke that you could pay for Meghan Trainor concert tickets with Kohl's Cash, but alas, even that wasn't enough to save the tour

indiana??? I hope you got diana's consent