Are we watching the collapse of society on our phones or are our phones watching us, the collapse of society.

girls will be like "I'm so easygoing" and then tell you which one is their favorite eyebrow

in bluesky’s defense i am also broken 😌

the feminine urge to crouch outside in the middle of a thunderstorm and eat fistful after fistful of dirt

boomer parents as grandparents are incredibly lackluster

chardonnay is short for richardonnay

[every job listing]

Is [VANILLA-ASS JOB SKILL] your passion? Do you know all there is to know about [VANILLA-ASS JOB SKILL]? Would life be empty without [VANILLA-ASS JOB SKILL]? Have you killed and would you kill again for [VANILLA-ASS JOB SKILL]

Always leave them wanting their money back.

Every mom knows nap time is for fisting m&m’s while scrubbing your baseboards to the sound of a true crime podcast

Hi to my fellow music nerds who also read this to Beethoven’s 5th.

Nickelodeon 16
Cartoon Network 17
Disney 18
Comedy Central 52
MTV 59

This can't be the same brain that knew all the channel numbers

Weird how George Washington looks so similarly to Craig Nelson….

i'm not an economist but if 900 people can afford to fund $3,000 checks to damn near everyone else in america and still be insanely fuckin rich afterwards maybe they have too much fuckin money

Repeat in 2026

Happy Mother’s Day 💛🧡🩷💜🩵

defense secretaries these days… back in my day we used signal to dm our drug dealers.

steve harvey says i 'm just sayin while holding a card ALT: steve harvey says i 'm just sayin while holding a card

imagine JD being one of the last people you see on earth

opened up a can of frostussy

Always hard to put yourself out there with mom friends when it comes to gardening 🤷🏼‍♀️

The email title is such a fuck boy weird misogynistic game.

Ugh hang in there - wishing you so much luck. We have a one year old here and are constantly dodging sicknesses 😿

Proud coffee club and water club member here from local gov. As a member of the social function committee I can confirm we used our own money to pay for office functions. We had a strict no gift policy with clients too, not even a bottle of water. Also the e on email stands for “evidence”.

not every yt person flocking to their socials trying to prove how much they loved Kendrick last night 😹

don’t get me wrong, we love being an ally - it was a poignant set. but some of these posts feel reeeeeeally performative.

Come back with a warrant (sticker)

Teach your kids well

girl dinner

it was probably the same era when we all ate our microwaved dinners together that mom lovingly nuked after a day of quaaludes

If Nancy Mace wants to catch me outside she can catch these hands. We ain't meeting for lattes or an IPA

ready for bed
*starts scrolling skinwalker tik toks*

as a mother, I say this with respect - please do not bring your baby or toddler to the nail salon.