William the Conqueror: Hey you, write your name and address in the Doomsday Book

Peasant: The what book?

William the Conqueror: I mean the Happy Book... The Happy Book of Cuddles

reconnecting with nature (banging my head against a large boulder)

Doctor Who: We can go ANYWHERE in time and space!
Also Doctor Who: Let's go to Wales again

STOP is short for stop thinking of porn

Paul stabs his hooks into the giant sandworm, everybody cheers "YAY, HE'S A RIDER!" then another worm hears us and swallows us whole

yay! 🤗🤗🤗

inside you are two wolves. one is a duck. the other is a duck. they are both ducks and THEY WANT BREAD

Water. Earth. Fire. Air. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, putting things right that once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home

to boldly go, to boldly cum

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM BOOM
Never gonna BOOM BOOM BOOM
Never gonna let BOOM BOOM
Never gonna BOOM BOOM BOOM and BOOMBOOM BOOM

(you've been baldrick-rolled)

so I keep hearing fan fiction is worth reading so I googled to find the most popular fan fics and ok I expected there'd be loads of erotica but omg is there anything with an ACTUAL STORY or is it ALL just "chose your favourite characters and make them fuck" in this essay I will

lani! 🥰😍🥰😍🥰

quack

if u are not yet a duck, try again ❤️

NEVER FORGET that you too can be a duck

hello burgers are a type of soup follow me for more life hacks i will not be accepting questions at this time

@alttext.bsky.social

@alttext.bsky.social

SNEAKY BEAKY BOOPS 😍🤗😍

if u are celebrating today please remember to do so with two (2) extra quacks

🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔
quack quack quack
quack quack quack
quack quack quack quack quack
quack quack quack quack quack quack quack
quack quack quack quack quack quack quack
🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔🎵🔔

If the friend zone is anything like the calzone then count me in, darling.

A man hands you a box, telling you it is full of your worst fears. The reality is the box is empty but oh how you fill it still.

YOU CAN IMPROVE YOUR SLEEP by raising one of your feet and tucking it into your feathers (in this tweet, you are a duck)

my name is flaps and I approve this message

*me, after reading a post I think is dumb*
This is so dumb.

*me, after writing a post that is equally as dumb*
This is so clever.

they learned it from my evening class (it's one of the advanced moves)

pls try it, it so lovely 😍