If you don’t like for the benefit of Mr kite (italics) I’ll Kill You

Hey man this rocked

I hope we figure out his real name so I can disrespect him.

I Hate The Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier

I didn’t know about him!

What the Platner campaign proves is you can run literally any breathing human under the age of 50 against elder democrats and beat them by 20+ points as long as the challenger doesn’t support Israel.

Me and every woman who has ever dated me

Thank you God for nature and beautiful women.

This guy looks like every phase of the scramble suit they wear in A Scanner Darkly.

Idk if that’s true. Most of them don’t fall I don’t think. I think they stay in the air.

Well what about how well they stay in the air

Well. I guess so.

I love Nice and I am never ever leaving France.

Annoyed by the sound of my candy wrappers? Well you shoulda thought of that before I got high on the train.

whale head. raccoon penis. it's glaringly obvious that rfk jr is assembling some sort of Super Animal... and i fear he may soon acquire flamingo legs

Yup

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong Instrument’s Loud, Resonant Crash Can Be Disruptive

Poor Sleep Linked To Gong https://theonion.com/poor-sleep-linked-to-gong/

With journalists I also assume the trans ppl they encounter tend to be younger and not instinctually deferential - so they wrap typical elite disdain for youth in special transphobic wrapping.

Je voudrais Borgor King

I would do literally anything for willow jade hall the British nunchuck woman.

This is the difference between these adult convert adventurers and people raised catholic: I don’t go to church anymore but I would never have the gall to call into question the authority of the fucking Pope.

I did not mean to write table twice.

contact with my nutsack.

MIKE D: Cranial hemorrhage means we got a brain

EVERY BEASTIE BOY: BLAND

MIKE D: It impairs cognition of the words we

EVERY BEASTIE BOY: LUNG

I went to a spa and got a massage table and I unfortunately cracked up on the massage table cus I kept thinking the sentence “he made repeated incidental contact with my nutsack."

lmao

It’s so unfair that I can’t reply “I’m going to kill you” to famous people 10+ times a day like I want to.

Trump calling the pope "weak on crime" is unfortunately a great bit, but we'll see better as the feud progresses. Trump only really has so many rhetorical moves at this point and is rapidly regressing into fey Broadway insults, but we could see "he's losing his 'look'" and "his 'hat' doesn't play."

Neil banging out the tunes April 13, 2006

Happy 20 years of Neil banging out the tunes 🐀🎶🎉