1969

IF this makes it to the discovery phase, which I bet it won’t, Patel will be absolutely, positively fucked and the Atlantic should countersue him into financial oblivion. Interested to hear @katiephang.bsky.social has to say about this.

I agree: we should execute every Jan 6 convict who was pardoned and then arrested for child SA and anyone who was found by a jury to have sexually assaulted E Jean Carroll.

Headline Battle:
The Strait Of Hormuz
Vs
The Straight Of Vermouth

Congratulations to Donald J Trump for ending the Iran Nuclear Deal in order to secure the Iran Nuclear Deal.
4 Dimensional Chess.

The kind of “ballroom” we wouldn’t be able easily remove him from after he plans to subvert the next election.

Thank God we got the dumb AntiChrist. Think how bad this could’ve been if he was a reader?!

Let’s bury him for three days and if he doesn’t resurrect then we’ll know for sure.

I wish Medicare covered irony.

Well, I’m just gonna say that I hope he experiences an equal, if not greater, crucifixion.

JD Vance should win the Nobel Peace Prize for single-handedly ending the authoritarian regime in Hungary.

The doctor administering his cognitive exam: “Okay…yes, that’s really something. Now, can you tell me the five words I asked you to remember earlier?”

What an odious yutz.
We need to cut bait on establishment Dems for good.

If you need a palette cleanse, here’s a piece that showed up and got stuck in my head last night, and I had figure out how to play it before I could sleep. I can’t wait to see where this goes…

Derek Sheen: The lies linking me to having two working penises need to end today. I never had two working penises and my email about having two working penises cannot be categorized as anything more than casual correspondence about my not having two working penises.

Trump definitely did not write this. This has all the hallmarks of Stephen Cheung trying to sound like Trump but it still lacks the dripping stupidity of an actual Trump post.

And the markets will go up again, enriching his pals who bought the dip and then he’ll go back to threatening them again and the market will fall and his pals will buy the dip and he’ll go back on his threats and rinse/repeat.

Kinda worried
When this motherfucker dies , all the world wide dancing in the streets, fireworks, church bells and music could knock the earth off its axis
Fuck it!
I’ll take the chance

No matter what happens, I think we can all agree that Stephen Miller should have all his skin peeled off and fed to weasels.
I probably need to drink more water…

What they eat says a lot about them. For example, that plate says “I like my omelettes like my leaders: barren, flavorless, overcooked and with steamed asparagus for no fucking reason”.

Saying "Lincoln was a Republican" is like saying “Kevin Spacey won an Oscar.” Technically it’s true, but a lot of shit has happened since then

This can’t be allowed to continue. It just can’t.

TRUMP: "I'm gonna fuckin' blow up all the fuckers! I wanna use all the bombs before I die! Helter skelter! Helter skelter! Race war! Race war! Fuck Easter and fuck you, too!"

NEWS: "Trump promises to strengthen military in early morning Easter greeting."

“Hell Will Reign!”

None of these people will survive the purge that is coming. (Eats a Snickers…waits…nope, I meant what I said.)

None of these people will survive the purge that is coming. (Eats a Snickers…waits…nope, I meant what I said.)

Derek Sheen “Derek Sheen is a goddamn delight. So smart and funny it makes me mad. Tiny Idiot? More like Giant Genius”-Brian Posehn “Derek Sheen has the uncanny ability to take mundane events and turn them into ...

y'all be sure to check out @dereksheen.bsky.social on YouTube! www.youtube.com/@DerekSheen666

Thank you!!

Wow. Such energy. I’m absolutely sure his speech tonight will be concise, succinct and on point with no rambling, mumbling or demented vamping whatsoever.