Now I can't sleep and i'm writing clues.

Ok, so parseword and a girl at work and my mum have me solving cryptic crosswords within a month.

So it doesn't point to anything?

I was reading about the Z ward for the criminally insane in the area where I live. It was settled by a family named Anderson, and the man who started the winery near my house was the one who evaluated all cases of possible lunacy.

Anyway, it's not a binary. Friction is not something that is bad because it's unpleasant. Rather, art that creates friction asks us to change our relationship with affective architecture, to be able to notice, and act, when we are being shuffled down the shute.

youtu.be/rrBeSQbdXmw?...

But I suppose you can introduce friction to a system the facilitates anger. Like cognitive dissonance.

But maybe I'm romanticising it. Maybe friction can be something that is efficient. Like anger as an affect of surveillance capitalism because it encourages greater engagement.

Frictionless is everything working the way it should, efficiently, with no interruptions or pauses that open someone to think otherwise. The idea of the killjoy opposes frictionlessness.

Critical term of the day: frictionless. Smooth.

My doctor just called me into the office to say she didn't know things were going downhill for me cos I'm always so happy and amenable in person. I'm quiet on busses, too.

I had difficulty with it. Resistant aesthetics, the idea that cohesion might not be the goal. Because cohesion can mask, can be complicit, can be ignorant, lazy, too comfortable in its privilege.

In my new self care app I have the task to listen to a new song everyday (or read a poem or a comic or an essay).

So I listened to Plants Prosper! by Deerhoof.

𝐌𝐲 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐈 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠.

everyone keeps telling me not to get a girl cat because they are ‘mean’ and ‘unfriendly’ and so I’m going to get a girl cat out of spite because misogyny

youtu.be/ReFhu8KYbmU?...

And then the benevolent and malevolent forms of essentialism that attempt to disprove unknowability from obviously well intentions that appear on either side of my feed.

That is the harm side of the silence, a privilege and a predisposition.

The difference between his violence being created as a solution and it being found and labelled in a useful way.

Reading it through the primal scene of desiring epistemic justice, epistemic power, and epistemic revenge over the man who gets to celebrate his domination as a form of narrative justice that labels that domination as privilege.

Reading Gilmore and balancing slippage as a space the author falls through versus a space the author creates that draws an anacrisis understood in de Lauretis' post structural terms - ie, elicits and gives shape to how I have been made to think about xyz. What is too much for just one body?

So I think I understand.