Simon has left the band and whats worse Alvin said our band is called Alvin and the Chipmunk now. like im just a thing

saw they had bluey on at the comedy festival. can’t believe they let him say that word in front of all the kids

who dropped the server in the pool

lang hancock and gina rinehart are a curse upon australia part 374657384603

she’s just like her father (derogatory)

which of my four garbage sons works for the DMV

Women crave a bad boy. Like me. I suck. I'm no good at anything.

pouring one out for the guy who runs kerry stokes’ wealth management fund

Transcript: DAFFODIL: What's going on on the righthand side? GRASSY: They only let us communicate with smiley face, sad face, and anvil. So they're saying anvil to me. WEB PAGE: Dots | Gamewoof - Webspedition. OPPONENT: Anvil. GRASSY: Smiley face. OPPONENT: Anvil. OPPONENT: Anvil. Anvil. Anvil. Anvil. OPPONENT: Anvil. Anvil. Anvil. Anvil. DAFFODIL: Forfeit. I'm getting scared.

Three Feelings

grassyvalley.thecomi...

they call it microsoft entertainment copilot now. but is the entertainment good? no. can it do a passable slice of pizza? also no. is it a giant rat? you wouldn't believe how big

areadoug777: My wife likes the house so hot. I turn the thermostat down to like 65, and then my wife turns it up to 70. Joke’s on her. I wanted it at 70 the whole time lol. It’s all about how you play the game, fellas

Jacques0: en france, we do not have this idea. this échecs de femme… uh wifechess

Page one: text on black background, “WAKE UP!”. Eyes open, a baby sea turtle with an eggshell helmet says, “you need to wake up!”

Page 2: helmet turtle says to a green baby sea turtle, who is waking up out off his egg, “we need to get moving.” CRASH! A cormorant breaks through the ceiling of their nest hole. Helmet turtle says MOVE!

Page 3: “when you’re out there, beeline to the water. Don’t stop. Don’t be a hero. Godspeed.” The helmet turtle kicks baby green turtle out the hole off a cliff onto the beach below.

Page 4: baby green turtle lands on the sand. The distance between him and the water is quite large. Another baby sea turtle is being devoured by a seagull and is screaming for help.

I dreamt of the beach (1/4)

PRIME MINISTER ANGUS TAYLOR: suffer in your jocks, povvos! *lifts a jerry can to his lips and drinks deep until he collapses dead on the podium*

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese will deliver an address to the nation tonight, outlining the government's response to the Middle East conflict and encouraging Australians to "play their part". He is expected to urge Australians to save fuel for areas and industries that "most need it". The address will be simulcast on television and radio across Australia at 7pm AEDT.

people simply love it when you storm out of the gates to support an illegal war, then lecture them about personal responsibility after it makes their lives worse

the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum i am going to the store

maybe i should adjust my trip. or wait for other, hopefully imminent news

BREAKING NEWS 🚨

(transcription from ohnorobot.com) [[Reginald approaches his doctor, who's sitting at his desk]] Reginald: Doctor! I think I have rabies! [[Close-up of Reginald]] Reginald: I've been foaming! [[Close-up of doctor]] Doctor: At the mouth? [[Reginald exits stage-right]] Reginald: Nevermind!

Didn’t know George Christensen could swim

i guess those celebrating soras death didnt get the memo that some of us need daily personalized greetings from james bond—for mental health

Hot on the heels of the electoral commission removing First Nations electorate names and the government passing emergency legislation to change JCU's governing council to stop them renaming the university, the Courier Mail is now mounting a full-throated attack on First Nations naming and language.

there goes chae, the gaybashing wine mum. she's sending her neighbours to the ICE camps cos they're too fey for her

i hate my job

he looks like he’s about to get kicked out of The Hives for being a dickhead

watching a youtube video where they had to blur out adam's dick on the goddamned sistine chapel ceiling and thinking this is a great world the tech industry has built us huh

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

they’re probably upset they got left out of the Epstein emails

you seem like the type of guy who would watch a dahir insaat video and think "wow this is cool"

left image: pixelated image of a man in a shower from 'shower with your dad simulator 2015' right image: isiah mustafa from 'old spice' tv commercials on the beach under a shower wearing a towel

wonderful news everyone i have enabled dlss 5 on 'shower with your dad simulator 2015'