My dick is a machine that turns ten minutes of free time into a hour-long nap

I love canned seafood and there’s a Trader Joe’s a block away so THANK YOU for this next grocery haul addition. Stoked to try some

Okay hold up I have never seen these canned calamari pieces are they fantastic?

as a gamer ive eliminated thousands of moo deng like creatures for their various parts . Ive completed countless quests using their pain

BARISTA (grinning): and you'd like that latte...
CHAPPELL ROAN: iced. for here

OASIS: “all your dreams are made / when you’re chained to the mirror and the razor blade”
11 YEAR OLD ME: “what beguiling surreal imagery that surely has no real-world referent”

As we begin a new chapter and reconnect with other mutuals lost under twitters slow spiral, can we all agree to not be sex pests fracturing the community? We can bring back pandemic Twitter if we just believe

The menswear guy is on here, Twitter exists solely for my beloved group chats now

Please tell me this site just needs more of my data to calibrate the algorithm and it’s not just weird media people sharing the same takes on Twitter but with less pornbots

not saying anything groundbreaking here, but I really think "politics as a form of content to be served up and consumed like all other forms of content" has been an enormous, underrated disaster in terms of giving folks the illusion of being informed while essentially being gamed like a drug addict

This is unironically hilarious that you can just dip out if an investigations going to turn up dirt that would ruin your career

you not rockin wit US hegemony⁉️

No but the sky is… more blue

The suburban housewife sexbot is gonna be a giant wine glass with a hammer dangalang

Wtf glasses of wine you drinking from Mr lanci

I’m actually taller than my bio says, but five foot seven slice of heaven sounds better than five foot nine damn he fine

Look at her paws!!

You finally have peace

If you see this, you are obliged to list your 10 fave artists in no particular order:

Taking back Sunday
Kanye West
Rick Ross
The Gaslight Anthem
From Autumn to Ashes
Mayer Hawthorne
Chuck Ragan
Gregory Alan Isakov
Brand New
Lil Wayne

This incites a violence within me

food is an entity of the state and must be abolished in favor of consumption of ingredients

it should be common courtesy not to rebrand on bluesky until your twitter peeps have reconnected with you

a cool thing about bluesky is that it’s a new place for people to get mad at you all over again

Gonna see how long this account lasts before I have to lock it down