Sure the police have come under criticism for their racist and violent actions, but at least when we need them they are also not brave or smart

You’re truly a gem of a human. I am grateful to know you.

Oh my god this is going to be incredible

*SUBZ BALLZ*

🚨 EMERGENCY SANDO ALERT 🚨

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

St. Paul Zaddies to the front

At no point in my life did I ever think I’d say “Get his ass” regarding a Pope’s statement, but here we are…

I know the meant it to belittle but this is the highest and best compliment an elder millennial can receive. Congratulations!

I’m going to start doing paid tours of my neighborhood - bring folks in to experience the glory of a Hardee’s mushroom and swiss, definitely stop at Black Hart, maybe a trip to the incredibly dangerous former CVS site, all accompanied by me, a known local.

Bad news folks: they let me back into the country.

Giving a cool rock to my friends. Giving a very cool rock to a hot babe. Giving a horrible rock to my enemies.

Father Ted GIF Alt: A guy in a green and white shirt and black pants holding a green lollipop skipping over green grass

Off to my next divorce! ❤️

😂😂 I forget that not everyone knows that I am a divorce lawyer

As someone who has divorced a variety of people across all generations, GenX are - without a shadow of a doubt - the most awful group of people to each other and to work with. They’re miserable people.

Let’s bury him for three days and if he doesn’t resurrect then we’ll know for sure.

They’ve been so awful for so long.

She’s got the lips of a largemouth bass.

!!!❤️❤️❤️!!!

🫠

Exhibit A for the motion to fully fund education.

Viktor Orbàn has been confirmed as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.

Everyone please welcome CBS News Immigration Analyst Viktor Orban.

I’ve had a Kivik sofa from IKEA for over 10 years now and I love it. It’s wide enough to sleep on. I’ve added to it as needed to turn it into a sectional. The slipcovers are 👍🏼 kids and pets. Normally not an IKEA fan for high quality, but this couch is legit. FB marketplace has some for sale too.

Thank you for highlighting this! I’m for sure going to check it out!

Omg we’ll be in town this year - can’t wait to drink beers and eat cold cuts with you

"i could probably pilot a ship through the straight of hormuz" -next big thing 80% of men secretly believe about themselves

in america, our legislative branch is on vacation right now. that’s not a joke or a euphemism, they’re on spring break. not a single person in america believes that they’ll do anything.

GRWM Nuclear Annihilation Fit Check of the Final Days

One thing I love about traveling to the real catholic countries - oh you’re traveling with kids? Get in that priority line baby.

“The Husband and Wife Law Team” ok no thank you, I am not becoming part of your kink because I fell down outside an Arby’s with poor parking lot maintenance