Eye test today. The optician (roughly 15 years old, I think) called me ma'am. Must be time to research pre-paid funerals.

Me: that's my seat.
Monty: not any more.
Me: I was gone for 2 minutes.
Monty: Zzzzzzzz

Apologised to a pigeon that walked in front of me outside Daventry Waitrose this morning. I have achieved peak Britishness.

Just home from working in Manchester for 2 days. I've seen: rain, howling wind, monsoon level rain, bright sunshine, snow, sleet, more rain, drizzle, sun again, a rainbow 🌈, more effing rain. No, I didn't pack an umbrella and I had the wrong coat 🙃.

Happy Pancake Day! Don't think I'm making Bake Off, but they tasted okay doused in lemon and sugar 😋

Happy release day to me! Seeing Blood is book 2 in The Augur series and is an urban fantasy romantic thriller :) books2read.com/u/bPBvXd

Homemade mince pie anyone?

Happy Boxing Day! Dropping in between bubble and squeak and Call the Midwife to let you know that my contemporary reimagining of The 39 Steps has been picked for a special UK Kobo promotion from today until Jan 4th 🙂 (US and EU prices will be dropped in line). www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/...

Cocoa (not my cat) apparently thinks I am a considerable disappointment.

I'm not sure what I've done, but I don't rate my chances.

Cocoa: this plate is empty.
Me: you had a treat. No more you little mooch.
Cocoa: Rog!
Ghost Rog: stop being mean to my girlfriend. She needs more snacks. Get to it.
Me: I'm bringing in an exorcist.

Me: can I remind you that this is not your house and not your bed.
Cocoa: Rog says I can come by any time.
Me: Rog is a ghost.
Cocoa: and not seeing your point...you can go now.

a brown dog wearing a pink collar with a tag that says jenny ALT: a brown dog wearing a pink collar with a tag that says jenny

How many dead bodies in a book is too many? Asking for a friend...🤔

My camera isn't great for the night sky, but there's a pretty halo around the moon tonight.

Cocoa: I haven't been fed for 3 weeks.
Me: I can see you're wasting away 🧐
Ghost Rog: we need treats!
Me: seriously?
Ghost Rog: when have I ever not been serious about treats? Also, look at that face...
Me: ...fine.

I've just heard a guy refer to his mate as "you utter melt" and feel like this is the gold tier of British insults. This was prompted by consumption of the last jammy dodger on the plate, so justified.

Looking forward to Pillion with Alexander Skarsgard? I have books you might like too!

Me: I'm sorry Rog isn't here any more.
Cocoa: what are you talking about?
Ghost Rog: ignore her, the dumb never gets better.
Me: 👀

We are in the club!

Me (talking to the radio in my car): ooh, good song, who was that?
Scott Mills: that was Taylor Swift and The Fate of Ophelia.
Me: have I just become a Swifty? Guess so.

Me: I'm going to a party today, Rog, for a 90 year old. It's from 12 til 4, very civilised.
Rog: will there be cats?
Me: I doubt it, the venue is a golf club. I'm hoping for cake.
Rog: want me to go kill a gift?
Me: no!
Rog: ingrate.

Autumn jewels.

Feel better soon!

It is Monday therefore we have resting Rog face.

When one's demands for second breakfast are not met with appropriate speed...

Me: it's Caturday, Rog!
Rog: every week...for the last time...EVERY day is Caturday.

Awayday at work today. We did a timeline game sorting technology developments in schools from 1975 to the present.
Youngster: 1975...how are we supposed to know that?
Youngster 2: what the hell is dial-up?
Me (muttering): some of us were in school in 1975 you brats.

Me: that's to protect my knees.
Rog: the ground is wet.
Me: I know!

There is a LOT of crumble in my future. We only have one ancient Bramley tree but it sure is prolific.

Me: I'm sorry I watched a video of another cat on my phone, but it was cute.
Rog: you are dead to me.