she doesn't want to be someone's option.

she wants to be someone's answer.

she knows the difference now.

— author

he is not confused about what he wants.

he is comfortable with you
not knowing.

— author

she wanted to rest.

not brace herself
every time she spoke honestly.

— author

if he was reliable,
you would not have learned
to brace yourself
every time he made a promise.

— author

she didn't lose interest.

she lost trust.

and without trust,
interest has nothing to stand on.

— author

he was present.

he just wasn't there.

— author

she gave him every chance
to be the man she believed he was.

— author

she is not hard to love.

loving her requires presence.

he had everything but that.

— author

she stopped giving him
the benefit of the doubt.

not because she became cynical.

because she finally accepted
that the doubt
was always warranted.

— author

you weren't needy.

you were with someone
who made normal needs
feel like a burden.

— author

if he wanted to make you feel chosen,
you would feel chosen.

the uncertainty is the answer.

— author

she didn't go cold.

she went quiet.

and quiet is where women go
when they've decided.

— author

if he wanted you to feel safe,
you would.

— author

the quietest form of growth
is the moment you stop explaining yourself
to someone who was never listening.

you don't announce it.

you just stop.

— author

you are allowed to want someone
who is sure about you.

sure is simple.
you will feel it.
or you will not.

— author

she doesn't want a perfect man.

she wants one she doesn't have
to brace around.

— author

he never once asked
how you were doing
and waited for the real answer.

he asked.
you said fine.
he moved on.

every time.

— author

she remembered the night
she cried in the bathroom
so he wouldn't see.

protecting his comfort
from her pain.

she thought that was love.

it wasn't.

— author

she doesn't want to be fixed.

she wants to be met.

— author

she didn't leave angry.

she left grateful.

grateful she finally
believed herself.

— author

sunday reflection:

you didn't fail.

you gave fully
to someone receiving partially.

the math was never going to work.

— author

she knows now
that loving someone
isn't supposed to feel like
a performance review.

— author

she stopped explaining herself
to people who had already
decided what she was.

that's not giving up.

that's the quietest form
of self-respect there is.

— author

it's saturday night.

and the version of you
who kept apologizing for what you needed —

doesn't live here anymore.

— author

bad advice: "just be patient. he'll come around."

the reality: he already showed you
who he comes around for.

— author

she doesn't want a perfect man.

she wants one who chooses her
on the days it would be easy
not to.

— author

she auditioned.
she didn't know that's what it was.

— author

she didn't chase him.
she auditioned for him.

there's a specific kind of grief
in finally seeing that.

— author

bad advice saturday:

lower your standards.
it keeps the peace.

— author

if he wanted to be the man you needed,
he would have started
before you stopped asking.

— author