*heavy metal voice* OPEN UP THE SCHOOLS

Bottle of drain cleaner on the floorboard of a car

Shit. Got pulled over and had an open bottle.

Saw the name Oakleigh today. I’m thinking this is a violation of the Geneva Convention.

If you name your kid Bentley, you should be given a citation. If you spell it Bentleigh, you should go directly to federal prison.

No one has ever gotten out while the getting was good more than this guy.

“The Pope is weak on crime” has to be one of the wildest sentences ever written

Donald Trump is not Voldemort. Idiocracy is not a documentary. You are not a passive observer. Get back in your body.

holy shit he actually conceded

folks, they tell you they’re invincible

they tell you they’re inevitable

they tell you that you should give up and stop fighting

and absolutely none of that is true

Best Star Trek crew, wrong answers only

The secret to parenting is having good dogs.

Card art for Foolish Return. It depicts a hand bursting through a wooden coffin and clutching a bouquet of flowers.

Yu-gi-oh card art goes insanely hard sometimes

I’m sorry for your loss.

Israel hears the word “ceasefire” and begins salivating, it’s a Pavlovian response

*walking around like I’ve seen visions of the apocalypse, grabbing strangers on the street* they gave mega golurk unseen fist…. THEY GAVE MEGA GOLURK UNSEEN FIST

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

Praying for a safe trip 🙏

So… is it gonna be nukes tomorrow or…?

“We need a Joe Rogan for the left!”
“No not like that!”

Seasonal Candy Official Ranking

1: Easter
2: Halloween
3: Christmas
4: Valentine’s Day

But shall this crazed old man be tamely suffered to drag a whole ship’s company down to doom with him?

America is literally everything our top propagandists told us Iran was

Love how they gave his post the “it’s not a threat, it’s a promise :)” treatment

I was fully convinced it was just a fake image made to troll people because of that.

Saying, “Good eye,” like a little league coach but I’m talking to the judge when he overrules an objection from the prosecution

I guess I still can’t believe they take it seriously in spite of me growing up around them. I knew a woman who dropped out of a community theater role bc the play had a ouija board in the first scene.

My parents weren’t like that but I had so, so many friends with parents who were. I never understood the conservative Christian hate for HP because the series has strong Christian themes. Thwarting death through sacrifice is how the books begin and end.

If Jesus were alive today, he'd have a podcast called WWID (What Would I Do)

Can’t sleep, better post through it

Yes, I did play saxophone in jazz band in high school and college, why do you ask?