I feel crazy in the house.

I WANT TO B!NG3

a cartoon drawing of a white sphere with a pink center ALT: a cartoon drawing of a white sphere with a pink center

Life is very much so giving

Had a good sleep last night and now the brain has overthought to the point of exhaustion and I still have 5 hours left at work 😭

a group of pokemon standing next to each other in front of a building ALT: a group of pokemon standing next to each other in front of a building

10 pounds down

Peter Griffin Perhaps GIF ALT: Peter Griffin Perhaps GIF

Haha my brain is getting to point where I want to ☠️
Like actually will I? No, because I promised myself I’d see my brother graduate first
But

a baby girl is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed and making a funny face . ALT: a baby girl is sitting on a couch with her eyes closed and making a funny face .

lol because I took this whole week off work to rest but I feel more exhausted than if I had worked because I was still doing household shit for everyone for hours everyday. Also to add, my body had the bright idea to wake me up at 6 am everyday. Like I took this week off to rest and GOT NO REST

Oh look miso soup

Thank you!

Fell off into dysthymia and one hell of a binging cycle but I’m back now

no like actually i need to stop being so fat

Things I did today
✅ scream into the void
✅ hate my body/b!nge
✅ overthink everything

Things I hated today
✅ scream into the void
✅ hate my body/b!nge
✅ overthink everything

lol how the list are the same 😱

Fucking tired of this b!nging cycle

Haven’t taken my vitamins consistently in almost 6 months and FUCK IF MY BRAIN ISN’T FEELING IT

Birthday vacation done and I haven’t stepped on a scale in 2 weeks (aka I’ve b1nged) and I want to cry

a cartoon of a cat on a treadmill with the words i want to be skinny yy ALT: a cartoon of a cat on a treadmill with the words i want to be skinny yy

I feel this in my deepest core

Going to the beach for my birthday in 4 weeks. Aka biggest mistake of my life bc I absolutely hate my body in everything I’m trying on and none of the outfits fit properly

It was not my idea and I said a mental fuck you and am sleeveless because your disappointment isn’t my problem but now my brain regrets it because I’m already self conscious about everything due to her constant nitpicking.

Headed to an event and my mom was worried about me being sleeveless (she didn’t say why - I know it’s because my arms are f4t and massive based on her tone and sounding disappointed when I said I didn’t have a shawl). She tried to make it seem like it was my idea to try and wear a shawl (1/2)

Went out for food with my mom 2 weeks ago as a “mother daughter date” and she spent the entire time asking me about my brother. Not one question about my “well-being”.

Thread of things unsettling my brain
⬇️

Basic to do list for this week on top of work even though there are 2 other able-bodied people in this house because cleaning is a foreign concept to them and the house is going to be full of people visiting. At least the c4lorie burn is gonna 📈

Gonna have to lock in. My friends decided we’re going to the beach for our birthdays in a month and I’m a fucking tub of lard so that’s gonna be fun

I gained weight but my clothes are slightly looser. I’m gaslighting myself that it’s muscle

a little girl is sitting at a table in a restaurant eating food . ALT: a little girl is sitting at a table in a restaurant eating food .

Made a large batch of butternut and spaghetti squash soup AND WHEN I TELL YOU

Only got to walk a hour and half bc mom was upset about the walking pad being on but between my workouts 1055 calories burned today so

Time for a 2.5 hour walk on the walking pad

Dolly that looks so good 😋

Went shopping today, got a trim, and figured out my estimated calories burned per minute for my walking pad

I hope it can but a lot of people go to her to stuff sewn and I don’t know how close I can cut it for her doing alterations 😭