I made a starter pack!
go.bsky.app/K71wfyW

😀

If you get caught stealing Italian ham you will be prosciuttocuted.

(tearfully pleading) delete your account

A kangaroo showing off his air guitar skills

Oh, we're half way there
Oh-oh, livin' on a prayer

I made a starter pack!
go.bsky.app/K71wfyW

A porcupine that looks like he's about to play the piano.

This one's called "Girl, You Give Me the Quills" and it's dedicated to all the lovely ladies in the audience.

Came out to this vignette on the kitchen table. Rough night for the chick.

One penguin singing "I Will Survive" to another penguin.

Go on, go, walk out the door
Turn around now
You're not welcome anymore

Having agoraphobia means you prefer inside jokes

I like you, but If you change your profile pic, your username or your whole energy, I’ll scroll past like we never trauma-bonded.

I booked Friday off just to have something to look forward to.

I dated a man bun once. He took me mini-golfing, and later, I watched him weep over a handcrafted beer flight.

A cat wears a helmet made of melon as he gets ready for war.

Tonight we war.

A lot of very funny and talented people have written for Sorrowscopes over the years- here they are!
bsky.app/starter-pack...

Leo: There is no “disturbance in the Force.” You have measles.

Taurus: It's time to be concerned when the doctor asks you to disrobe so he can see your “wretched hive of scum and villainy."

💯

Soft on the outside, spiraling on the inside.

An owl, wings outstretched to look like a giant snowboard.

Not many people realize this but owls make great snowboards.

I spy with my little eye another lip injection gone awry.

find someone that reminds you that laughter and silliness are the antidote

Fine, I will be the CEO of Tesla.

Too tired to be mysterious, too dramatic to be chill.

The eyes are the windows to the soul and the mouth is the front door to a donut.

I just want you to know I consider you all my friends, and Zuckerberg can go suck it.

A cat passed out amongst some beer bottles

The first time your parents leave you alone for the week

if anyone asks you, you never saw this...

Joke's on you. I'm not even interested in my own opinion.