how is he real? he looks like a dang cartoon

on the one hand, it's very nice having freshly clipped fingernails. on the other, it's very frustrating not being able to get that booger out.

whenever you see a guy selling rat hats at Battery Park, look for me Ma, I'll be there

these are the kind of insights that can only be seen when you step outside of your leftist echo chamber

cool. cool cool cool. what a good reply. totally normal and good thing to post

Every time I go to a store and immediately see a monitor showing surveillance footage of me walking in I’m like damn…I would look cool as fuck robbing this place

godzilla three times one minus one

my man godzilla is from the streets, he's got to be able to stomp through the streets

I can't tell if this satire anymore folks!

man, I love cooking, but I am so inefficient. started around 5 making some tabbouli and hummus for the week ahead and I'm still working. also, goddamn, these olive oil prices

from the mouths of babes

The Jesus heroin pic but Trump's head is poorly photoshopped on Jesus

The Pope Sucked Me Off???

the pope has never won an SEC championship

AKA, everyone I work with

sending the dumbass new guy to get the shelf stretcher and some blinker fluid

til markets open Monday, at least

well folks, they don't call him President Deals for nothing

don't let the fact that this criminal is murdering you distract you from the reality that he also plans to steal your wallet (once you have been murdered)

A beige brick wall with a central section of mismatched bricks forming a patch-like rectangle, casting light shadows; conveys a sense of oddity.

Definitely coming back here when I unlock bombs.

I will wear the golden calf tie tack, but i will NOT polish it

no judgment here brother. the american turdburger fulfills a vital task at the intersection of convenience and affordability

oh yeah, it's mostly fat. fair enough

seriously reevaluating my estimation of how delicious tahini is in almost everything. how is it possible for this substance to be so delicious?

haven't we tortured and imprisoned an Afghani guy in gitmo since 01 for the grave crime of throwing a grenade at our invading troops?

the neocon version of my lobster is too buttery, my steak is too juicy

me with a vasectomy and a postmenopausal wife

the pitbull that mauled baby hitler