Dropped a suppository on the floor and briefly considered throwing it out and getting a fresh one until I remembered where it was going

One of my biggest grudges against English is that it phased out "amn't" for some reason

Right, like if someone managed to use this kind of thing to slowly deradicalize bigots that would be a different story, but he's just... using women's bodies to make money

Clarence Thomas: This is a high-tech lynching
Grok: hold my beer*

*The beer is electrons or whatever

In retrospect, Clarence Thomas calling his senate hearings a "high-tech lynching" just because they were televised really betrays a lack of technofuturist imagination on his part

"I can't believe you didn't consider this extremely specific and extremely depressing situation before making the world's mildest joke!"

Gretchen in the NYT recipe comment section, whew

My brain was just like "if she's called Lady Macbeth, what's he called?" and then confidently supplied "Mr. Macbeth"

I just had a Proustian moment where I could *smell* the Mets pennant that hung on my childhood bedroom wall

This guy's vibes must have been seriously rancid to be detectable through 3 feet of foam rubber

My new discourse topic is that it is a travesty that the cereal aisle at Costco has become glutted with fancy keto cereals at the expense of actual normal cereals. My local Costco no longer has Frosted Mini Wheats, for fuck's sake

A hand holding two cans of tomato paste (one is photoshopped in). The hand is very small. Side by side with Ryan's photo, it looks like we are different species. Also a penis this size would be pretty big

I only have one can of tomato paste in my pantry but I wanted to see what this looked like with a hand on the opposite end of the size spectrum.

Good news: reached the bottom hem of the body of the sweater
Bad news: have to do a tubular bind-off

Drake meme but the first frame is "on the spectrum" and the second one is "on Spectrum"

The Renwick Gallery deserves so much better

Four containerless semi cabs, each one humping the one in front of it

oh hey, I've seen that video

That also looks like a fun way to spend a stoned evening

The Anakin/Padme meme. Anakin: After 7 years, CPD now in full compliance Padme: With 100% of consent decree, right?

This is one of those things that reaffirms that I am, unfortunately, straight

I resisted it for a long time, but I finally bought some Vacation sunscreen and dammit it does smell very good

Crime rates* at the Vatican have skyrocketed since he took office

*women attempting to enter the basilica with exposed knees

Being an academic in your 40s means a lot of digging out articles you printed out when you were in your 20s and discovering the hubris you had about how good your eyesight would always be

1) When all the instruments kick in at once in Sufjan Stevens's "Chicago"
2) When Cat Stevens modulates an octave up in "Father and Son"

Caesar Childless over here

I grew up in NYC and then moved to Chicago, where pretty much every block has an alley for dumpsters/trash collection. When I went back to NYC I realized for the first time how dirty and smelly it was because of the trash.

Alebrije - Wikipedia

Looks more like a fox than a dog to me, but who knows! The style seems reminiscent of alebrijes (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alebrije) but without the colors.

Another sweaty rhyme, which also happens to be from Steve Miller Band: "abracadabra"/"reach out and grab ya"

a weird belief that is held across basically all sectors of American life is that boy dollars and boy votes are better than girl dollars and girl votes and so if you have a lot of the latter you need to be constantly trying to exchange them for the former

In case you didn't know: Costco generics of allergy meds are SOOOO much cheaper than anywhere else. Pays for the whole membership.

Did you post this so that in 6 hours you don't freak out and think you're dying?