Ime it's the opposite - a lot of men seem to think that by not putting the expectation of mother-to-children on you, they are automatically asking less of you and are therefore entitled to take up all that free not-mothering time demanding your emotional/domestic labour be directed at them.
Believe me, guys care. Almost every man I've dated was very explicit about wanting a woman who worked; I have made more than everyone I've dated. Casual relationships want me to contribute equally or more to dates etc; serious ones expected me to take care of them financially with no reciprocity.
Even in school decades ago my psyche teacher explicitly taught us this; with women it is so ingrained in them to think of others first, esp if they live with children, they will pick methods that are "less" traumatising to others. Men use guns, but also things like trains & other "public" methods.
Emotional gold-digger! What a fantastic turn of phrase, it's exactly what I've been looking for. Many thanks for putting it into such apt words.
And my second caveat in response to a lot of responses—this isn’t an argument that men being lonely isn’t happening. This is an argument that loneliness is not exclusive to men and that the reigning discourse around MALE loneliness is really about unmet expectations for women
My sense is that the “male loneliness crisis” is not really about addressing men’s emotional needs but rather the relatively newfound absence of having someone to perform domestic labor for you quietly in the background now that there is a longer gap between your mother and your wife doing it
Seeking recommendations for really good drugs. This reality isn't working for me, time to try a new one.
Uber driver ended our ride with "you deserve all the stars but I only have 5 to give" and what an adorable way to end a great evening
Am I drunk, you ask? That's between me and the empty bottle of sale prosecco acquired during today's venture outdoors
Xander from the Buffy musical episode with subtitles showing reading "I've got a theory"
Mr Kipling Battenburgs are the twinkies of the UK
Google how do I live in this wor- no wait
Alexa how do I no shit
YouTube reasons for living HOT AI SINGLES IN YOUR AREA
Google nearest uninhabited cave how to tell edible berries
Tweet from the weak-kneed PM of the UK, Keir Starmer claiming that “Settlement in the UK is a privilege that is earned, not a right.”
A modest proposal: if your country was invaded, settled, or colonized by the UK, you should be able to settle as of right in the UK.
UK will discriminate against would-be students who are from persecuted groups.
Palestinian? No visa.
Christian from Pakistan or Iran? No visa.
Woman from Afghanistan? No visa.
Lesbian from Uganda? No visa.
Very embarrassing for us to have such a low tariff from the US. Numeric proof the UK is the least cool country and voted ourselves out of the only friend group that will ever begrudgingly accept us.
Did you know your public library's hoopla digital collections are absolutely destroying their budget? That prices have gone up in some instances of over 400%, while library budgets have been stagnant or cut?
Everything you should know as a library user: bookriot.com/library-hoop...
Is this related to my theory about how everyone is a little attracted to Hannibal Lecter because he's terrifyingly competent? Maybe. Shut up. Don't you kink shame me.
It's linked to the demand for "men's spaces" and services. Other people don't have these things because they were gifted to us out of pity, we had to work for them because we had nowhere else. No-one told us how to grow up. We just... Had to.
If you suggest they help out, they say but you haven't told me to! And if I try, you tell me I'm doing it wrong! Because they were never expected to just... Figure it out. So they don't realise that they even could be an adult without a woman's support or instruction, and constant emotional labour.
I don't even identify as a woman, they don't even realise they're coming to me asking me to fix their life. They just see tits and the patriarchal messaging kicks in: I feel bad, make it better.
Current thoughts on the male loneliness/mental health crisis: I've had so many men come to me saying they feel useless/depressed. Often while I'm cooking them dinner, or drinking a drink I bought them because they wanted company. Have they tried doing... anything? No. Because they want me to fix it.
I can't change the settings because I wasn't the person who opened it so don't have admin rights, because you now need an Outlook account to turn the damn thing on. What's the option here, every workplace builds their own computers & runs Linux? Are we forced back to pen, paper, filing cabinets?
We got new work laptops for our area since the IT regulations prevent us doing our work. The laptops are Windows 11 with fancy new "security" defaults which... Prevent us doing our work. Who is buying laptops and wants to be barred from using any non-Microsoft app?
It genuinely worries me that the publicity around glorified chatbots has been so effective it may already be acting like a tower of Babel. Prescriptivism isn't the answer, but if we don't have an understanding of language we can't communicate effectively.
I'm reading a book that reads like AI in parts: sentences "look right" but are devoid of meaning. Is publishing so understaffed no-one reads the books, or has generative AI so damaged our ability to parse language this is the level of literacy in an industry dedicated to the written word?
Feels like we're going to hit the tipping point between "I wouldn't actually recommend ecoterrorism, but" and "is there any solution other than ecoterrorism available?" very soon
I once again simply do not understand people who love summer and welcome its arrival
Browsing fb marketplace for a sofa because everyone except me hates my beloved chaise longue.
I have found... another chaise longue.
Man we get beer, football, and pussy in the great lib conservative divorce?
In true dyke fashion, this has reminded me of the time a girl I had a crush on cable tied my wrist, which I kept for 3 years. BTW, surgeons do not appreciate having to work around cable ties for major operations.
Ask me how long it took me to realise she also had a crush on me.
Photo of 4 laminated sheets attached to a fence by a river surrounded by greenery. The only sheet with text big enough to be legible reads "There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. Hamlet by William Shakespeare"
I've found the good part of Leeds, and it's a bunch of poetry someone's laminated and cable tied to a fence at the dead end of a muddy desire path next to the river