god i just want to die!!!! why won't the world let me die i do so much dumb shit

also my period came back and now i feel like a big fat fake anorexic but ik that's not true

oh my god i feel horrendous. drinking all day yesterday and opening the shop today. i just wanna go home

life has been HECTIC sorry have not been restricting hard but also not been bingeing thankfully!!!! ive only gained a teeny bit but im getting back into the swing of restricting

ashamedly crawling back after being gone for over 2 weeks. hai

getting used to the new meds but theyre giving me such bad brain fog im legit getting into trouble at work over it ughhh

this is going to sound really stupid and ungrateful but i hate being the kind of thin that gets you compliments. i want to be the kind of thin that makes you gasp in horror.

jury duty got cancelled on me god DAMN now i just have to go back to work. im locking in fr fr tho i gotta lose more weight

IVE BEEN PICKED FOR JURY DUTY WHICH MEANS I CANT WEIGH MYSELF FOR LIKE A WEEK AND A HALF NOOOOO

GAH been eating terribly and petrified to weigh myself. But going out tonight and hopefully picking up some c0ke so hopefully i will b skinny in the morning 🤞🤞🤞

man i am so sick of giving all that there is left of me and being told its not enough

ill pick up my prozac and start restricting again tomorrow

eating like a fatass today because I JUST DONT CWRE ANYMORREEEHFJF

i stand all day at work so i consider that my exercise 😭 if im off work im NOT moving

aw FUUUCCKK i have to pick up keys from work bc im opening tomorrow kill me now

okay Nothingburger appointment. cool. basically just apologised that the dietician wouldn't be available for another few weeks. but gave me a prescription for prozac so win i guess

in the waiting room for my ED appointment now wish me luck gang

all the irl ops i love social media stalking aren't posting. wheres my daily entertainment

fasting today b4 my appointment tomorrow,, doing everything i can to make sure i stick to this hehe

got body wax and fretboard oil and basically gave my guitar a spa treatment and hes so pretty and shiny and the new strings sound so nice yayayayayaa

censoring place names as not to doxx myself but this is whats on the agenda for today im lowkey excited

im off work today and when im not in work im more susceptible to eating loads throughout the day soooo im keeping myself busy all day in the hopes I'll have no time for food

not to toot my own horn or anything but that was one of the best meals ive had in a long time

IT SMELLED SO GOOD AS I WAS LEAVING FOR WORK I WANTED TO CRYY

gonna absolutely fuck up my weight loss as soon as it happened bc valentine's dinner with bf tonight. but fuck it. im doing slow cooked lamb shanks in a red wine sauce and im so excited lowkey

FINALLY back down to where i was GOD that was a slog. but bmi 15.8 again yippee!

just feels like im running and running and never catching up

like what happened

i used to be beautiful man