오늘 나는 인앤아웃 버거에 갈 것이다. 어머니가 돌아가신 날보다 더 행복하다.

콩 심은 데 콩 나고 팥 심은 데 팥 난다

I’m on trial for goo/slime crimes currently.

Will give a more detailed report later.

For the time being, Korean Moe will be in charge of this account.

Every day I wake up to oodles of gunge, goo, and slime

When I put my iconic cowboy hat on, the world starts to listen to me.

Sometimes there’s nothing left to do but smile, load another bullet into the chamber, and hope for the best

There’s nothing better than pulling out your 3.6 inch penis and gooning by candle light.

A single smile can change the world. That’s why I replaced my teeth with 50,000 lumen LEDs, so I can flash these pearly whites and light up the world

Just got my elf hunting license from the Government of California. Can’t wait to blast their heads clean off with my Desert Eagle and see them lose the curl in their little shoes

You can have clothes on if you want

Cricket

What if you were hunted for sport? Would that be fun?

I’m sick of shitting, I wanna PISS!

UPDATE: I am now responsible for the first human-bird hybrid. I would post a photo of my new baby but I showed my neighbor Darla and she immediately grabbed for the unlicensed Colt .45 tucked into her waistband.

Woke up this morning to the white boy meetup alarm blasting at 210dB!

Somewhere out there on our big blue marble, some white boys are planning something magnificent.

I think only 2 remain at this point. They better watch their fucking backs and be acting on their best behavior or God help me

I’m sniffing flowers in my garden today and trying to forget about John.

Turns out “I have a right to defend myself” is not a good legal defense for blowing up my neighbor John’s house (different John than the last one I blew up) out of boredom

I just had a baby with a Vampire.

I was born in a fucking cave but you don’t see me complaining about it

I go through six bottles of dietz & watson horse radish a day.

I am NOT addicted. This is HEALTHY!

This Easter I continued my tradition of killing my niece on Friday and then using my Moe Magic to bring her back to life on Sunday.

I had her torn apart by dogs this year, made the resurrection a bit tricky but its good to switch things up.

I’ve been cursed to golf.

For April Fools day this year I castrated all my male servants and un-castrated all my eunuchs. The looks on their faces will be priceless

Taking a nature walk and injecting random flora/fauna with my DNA.

Will post the results soon.

Just had a dream where my cortisol levels skyrocketed when I heard the news that Rob Schneider was killed in a drone strike.

Unsure of the meaning of this one.

Today, I will be pacing back and forth in my kitchen thinking about various contraptions/gadgets/gizmos/doohickeys.

I want a neurodivergent chicken burger for dinner, and I want it NOW

The Moe-clear bomb is in production and is expected to have a yield of 58 gigaflorps per grungus. This will keep the raccoons out of my precious trash for sure

I’m learning more about the Wendigo every day