Oliver Twist eyeballing his delayed oil shipment

Chip Roy records 97 saves for the Bridgepoint Islanders, setting a new AHL mark

I am hitting intense new hedonistic depths of schadenfreude

Someone wrote a skeet just for you, @sarahemclaugh.bsky.social

hmmm i seem to remember another star outfielder who was “activated”

lol of course

lol nothing like seeing Josh Blackman pop up in the most expected place ever

Pine tree air fresheners dangling from the mirror whose scent is apparently "BLACK LODGE"?

Hey, no loitering

Got that unfiltered Camel smell you just can't get anymore

"lol it's an Aries which is my ex's sign"

"well, ran when parked"

Hey Erica, feel free to list the "1,800 criminal gangs" that have been "dismantled" since Patel staggered on board.

Looks like somewhere a guy could get some bartering done

I apologize sir, the kitchen has misplaced your modifier

When I want to get shanked, there's only one place to go

it wants you inside it

we can demoralize our own troops thank you very much. why don't you stay out of politics mr. pope if that is your real name

very eye opening, thank you

Can't wait to hear what he thinks a banana costs

Platform:

- Am probably Catholic recently should anyone ask
- McGruff on crime
- Vatican needs more enriched uranium
- Couch fucking cool and good
- Trump won't answer my calls either
- the NYMets are my favorite squadron

been hearing the pope position is open

@johnfreiler so is spongebob a regular sponge, or is he a birth control sponge? huh? ok do you mean banned from the whole park or just the spongebob part

[smoking gun tk]

boilerplate that can't even hit 212 F

Right? I always apologize when it takes more than 5 minutes to resolve my issue when the person on the other end actually seems to care about solving it.

I've felt bad for a couple of the instacart people b/c they are scared to tell me the store is out of something, because they get hate. I'm like you didn't cause it, I have faith in your ability to honor the spirit of my order. My life isn't over because they were out of that pack of paper towels.

It works everywhere. You can get discounts, freebies, and -- if nothing else -- a warm welcome just by being kind to the people who serve you.

AND EVERY DRINK WAS BURNT

Speaking of which, a lot of people could learn a lot of stuff just by working a year in a bar.

I did. And when I went out, I tipped extremely well. Within weeks, I was being greeted by bartenders, served immediately, and when the time came to settle my tab, I was paying pennies on the dollar.