Thanks Napoleon

It’s not often that I get inspired to write a haiku but the cherry blossom on my lunch time bike ride was so beautiful I couldn’t help myself
🌸

A cherry blossom tree on a sunny day. Blossom is falling from the tree and piling at the side of the path like pale pink snow

Cycling slowly through
Cherry blossom confetti
Sakura snowdrifts

The Out Touch Pope who is WEAK ON FRANCE should let me divorce Catherine of Aragon or I’ll Go Crazy on him Big Time. He has Lots of Monasteries & I can Take. England has been Pushed Around too long like the Field of the Cloth of Gold which France cheated? Thank you for your attention to this matter

No thank you

Kingfisher posing for snaps. River Kelvin near the Botanic Gardens in Glasgow. #birds

And my other reads:

Audio: Murder in Mesopotamia by Agatha Christie 🗡️🪏

Kindle: Flashman by George McDonald Fraser ⚡️💂🏻‍♀️

Snap! I am also reading and highly enjoying Slow Gods
🚀🖤

I want you to know that the phrase “piss fountain of the dead” keeps popping into my mind and making me giggle at inopportune moments

Me: [idly looking up info on popes]

Wikipedia: This list is incomplete; you can help expand it.

Me: wut?

Wikipedia: [lifts eyebrows suggestively]

A functioning gargoyle with modern rainwater goods added

A grotesque face

if it has (or had) a water spout, it’s a gargoyle, if it doesn’t, it’s a grotesque. thank you for coming to my tedtalk, see you all next month when I give it again

various mushrooms, some of them not necessarily real

Some mushroom studies

this morning, mamdani’s team got in touch with me to float a new tax proposal: if your net worth exceeds $5 million and you dress badly, you’ll be hit with a 10% annual levy for “visual pollution.” i would be in charge of deciding if the outfits are bad.

A cartoon showing someone with devil heads for hands, realising they have used hand satanizer

Did your hands look like this?
😈

Me to 3yo: What do you want for your birthday party theme?

3yo: “Poopoo & peepee theme! We can get apple juice for the pee, so a skeleton pees and you drink the skeleton pee but it’s okay because it’s juice”

Me: ..K I was thinking like “dinosaurs” but let’s put a pin in “piss fountain of the dead”

“Trust in God, and keep your powder dry.”

- the book of Oliver Cromwell, 16:49

Apparently it’s
International Haiku Day.
I shall ignore it.

To finish it

a close up of a man 's face with a gray shirt on Alt: a gif of Matt Damon ageing super fast

Me: so what did you do at school today?
8yo: we had a history lesson about music and we were listening to Take That and the Spice Girls
Me:

But sure he is stark mad

I… was not expecting that

IT IS GLORY TO BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES BUT TO ALSO BATHE IN THE SHOWER.

🏆🍪🥠

I've heard there was a favourite arm
That has its own erotic charm
But dont ya really care for sea-sex roadies?
It goes like this, not fourth or fifth
Or seventh, eighth: the third one lifts
In briny hanky-panky Octopodes
Octopodes
Octopodes
Octopodes
Octopodes
www.newscientist.com/article/2521...

And on Kindle, I’m reading an historical adventure: Flashman by George McDonald Fraser
⚡️💂🏻‍♀️

In audio, I’m listening to some classic crime: Murder in Mesopotamia by Agatha Christie
🪏🗡️

The cover of Slow Gods, featuring a golden spaceship travelling across a stylised space scape with red planets

Good morning Womble! By chance I finished my previous three books in the course of the past three days so I have just started reading three new books!
In hard copy, Slow Gods by Claire North:

We are looking at the Hall - a timber framed and brick built medieval building from the garden. Our view includes flower beds with tulips of all colours.

Happy Sunday!

May your day be as bright and colourful as the tulips are in the garden. 😊

This time of year I usually share the song “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park” by the brilliant Tom Lehrer, a song of joy in the springtime. But since he died last year at the age of 97 my heart no longer quickens at each drop of strychnine ☹️
Poisoning pigeons just isn’t the same without you, Tom.
RIP