Satan*

"After much thought, contemplation, and encouragement from neighborhood dogs, I am withdrawing my name from consideration for the Senate seat in Florida to concentrate on my howling." - Lara Lea Trump

Throw out a specific question about a military airplane all casual like...

Philomena Cunk standing beside a Santa statue saying the good children will get lots of presents and so, it turns out, will the bad ones. In fact, the only ones who won't get very much are the poor children that's because Santa judges a child's goodness based largely on parental income.

Cunk spittin Christmas cheer

It came out at 7 in the morning, and it stayed there all day...🌞☀️🌞☀️🌞

Speaking about things dropping the size of cars... 💩

Impact

Fun fact: Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs.

It’s also their biggest import

Really 😯

Buying a dimebag from the mall santa while he eats his panda express

FoIIow (us) 👇 for more! @beautifullocity.bsky.social 👈

Health Insurance CEO Reveals Key To Company’s Success Is Not Paying For Customers’ Medical Care -The Onion

Health Insurance CEO Reveals Key To Company’s Success Is Not Paying For Customers’ Medical Care
theonion.com/health-insur...

Man Says ‘Fuck It,’ Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M. -The Onion

Man Says ‘Fuck It,’ Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.
theonion.com/man-says-fuc...

I have one also, these are great controllers

I really love this place but navigating notifications is dreadful.

FEMA Administrator Resigns After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System -The Onion

FEMA Administrator Resigns After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System
theonion.com/fema-adminis...

Without downloading any new pics, where are you mentally?

Eat, drink, be merry for tomorrow we die. If we're lucky.

Why did everybody in the Star Wars galaxy refer to Darth Vader as Lord Vader?

They started laughing whenever they called him Master Vader!

What if I'm happy to see you AND have a banana in my pocket?

Embarrassed David Attenborough Realizes He Spent 10 Minutes Describing Stillness Of Duck Decoy -The Onion

Embarrassed David Attenborough Realizes He Spent 10 Minutes Describing Stillness Of Duck Decoy
theonion.com/embarrassed-...

The need to be seen and the horror of being seen all at the same time.