You can lead a horse to a waterpark but it's not going to handle the wave pool very well.

(Sniff)

Wells are also full of water.

The album cover of Goals Absent by DAKTYLOI. Houndstooth wool.

A new release from DAKTYLOI.

This is Goals Absent. Harsh ambient tape and sundry media manipulations. Psychedelic hauntology. ANTI-ASMR electroacoustics. Ecstatic headphone daymares. That type of thing.

This and all DAKTYLOI bulletins are pay what you want. Thank you for your consideration.

I'm a few years too late for it but Cake Boss Baby just came to me out of nowhere, I don't know how it works folks.

3000 year old Jeff sounds like a pretty laid back dude.

Goals Absent, by DAKTYLOI 2 track album

daktyloi.bandcamp.com/album/goals-...

#bandcamp

The album cover of Goals Absent by DAKTYLOI. Houndstooth wool.

A new release from DAKTYLOI.

This is Goals Absent. Harsh ambient tape and sundry media manipulations. Psychedelic hauntology. ANTI-ASMR electroacoustics. Ecstatic headphone daymares. That type of thing.

This and all DAKTYLOI bulletins are pay what you want. Thank you for your consideration.

Seven Brides for The Chiodo Brothers.

Look I had to it was in my head the whole morning get off my back.

Genuflex: The humblest of workout systems.

None at all I wanted that tornado dude to mess him up every time.

Aw yeah, Mathnet. As a very small child, Square One was kind of a half-ways introduction to sketch comedy.

Caught them about as many times between 1995 and 2019. I'm guessing lucky 13 at this point.

The Olivia Tremor Control
They Might Be Giants
Old Time Relijun
Stereolab
Yellow Swans

D362 - ASTRAGALI DAKTYLOI Sound rake plus mulch spreader. Ecstatic headphone daymares. Harsh concrète posturing, what with all the MATERIALS. Glossless dark ambient toxic nostalgia mud. Weaponized memory. Hauntologica

New DAKTYLOI dispatch. Astragali. Transmission noise bounced to tape loops and then I started MESSIN with them.

soundcloud.com/daktyloi/d26...

#soundcloud #noise #experimental

Gum Slough, by DAKTYLOI 2 track album

New from DAKTYLOI.
This is Gum Slough.
More mangled analog media.
MORE electroacoustic bangs and whooshes.
MORE transmission gusts and chirps.
MORE ANTI-ASMR for the kids.
MORE psychedelic hauntology.
LESS length than the last one by a few minutes.

daktyloi.bandcamp.com/album/gum-sl...

I don't blame EPCOT for me getting my arm torn off on Ellen's Energy Adventure in 2016, things happen you know? All I ask is that you bring it back. The ride, that is, my arm is long gone I'm not an idiot.

The hell of it is I KNOW my phantom limb is making the cunnilingus gesture all the time.

Diligently.

No reason at all for a shortage of semiconductors. All you gotta do is replace the corn in the machines Frito Lay uses with sand and BOOM you've got Frito Lay semiconductors this shouldn't be this hard to figure out.

Intrusive morning thought: (Frank Black voice) I wanna fuck in a Gravitron.

My brother is color blind. I am not. Which, growing up, made him dullish rust-red with envy

The centrifugal fair/carnival ride Starship 2000. Also known as Gravitron. Also known as my apartment.

FOR SALE: One well loved Starship 4000.

WARNING: This WILL NOT WORK as an anime-style gravity chamber for EXTREME MARTIAL ARTS TRAINING, and let me tell you it doesn't matter what kind of music you play inside it.

You'll need to bring a trailer & give me 72 hours to move out.

You can capture carbon with chemical looping and oxyfuel combustion, and that's fine it's just that I'm happy with my big net.

REAL QUICK RESTAURANT REVIEW:

Doppler's Chops in Ft. Lauderdale Florida.

Pros: The menus are made of grass fed bison jerky & there was D Yellow Swans on the jukebox.

Cons: The bar stools are all Judas Cradles.

8.5/10

Telling people that you're "working smarter, not harder" as a way to hand-wave your erectile dysfunction.

I can realistically cry on camera by accessing a powerfully emotional memory. The Rockapella Folgers commercial from 1998.

Barred from the Mad Libs National Championship qualifying rounds because I kept using Toyotathon as both a holiday and as an adjective, "despite being repeatedly warned".

Proud to work with America's largest chicken chain. The chicken chain is used to drive a 3,000 ton capacity chicken carousel for the laying of undersea chicken pipe & umbilical chicken cable for the offshore chicken industry. It's a pretty big chicken chain.

Come down to the Bone Circus.

It might SOUND scary, but don't worry, it's just a circus! A circus themed around bones & skeletons & a skeleton ringmaster & skeleton clowns & the skeleton clowns removing your bones to make more skeleton clowns while you scream "NOOOOOOOO!". It's not a big deal.

An oncologist delivers bad news, but tries to do it dramatically by quickly removing her glasses after a beat, but...BUT she forgot about the neon yellow Croakies around her neck & manages to smash her own head on her desk. This cures the cancer, because they say laughter is the best chemotherapy.

D358 - VELLUS DAKTYLOI Sound rake plus mulch spreader. Ecstatic headphone daymares. Harsh concrète posturing, what with all the MATERIALS. Glossless dark ambient toxic nostalgia mud. Weaponized memory. Hauntologica

New sounds from DAKTYLOI. Tape loops, CD deck, ream of paper, some other things.

soundcloud.com/daktyloi/d35...

#soundcloud #experimental #noise

Coast Guard keeps harassing me for operating a food truck on a sandbar, 1/2 a mile off the coast of Panama City Beach. Could be any number of reasons. It's super illegal, the truck and generators are diesel; I use CRISPR GMO ultra-cilantro in the Manatee Banh Mi or it's my Fuck Manatees shirt.