Kevin spent all last week explaining to his fellow geriatric bus passengers that fish suppers are too woke now. Prove me wrong.

I'm currently ranking Labour Party people by the ambassadorship they could best hope to be appointed to.

Sir Douglas Alexander: Ljubljana.
Dame Jackie Baille: Ouagoudougu.
Sir Michael Shanks: Whatever the capital of Krgyzstan is.
Sarwar: Darkest Peru.

It was only yesterday that yourself, Scotland's chief Labour party client journalist, was salivating about a Labour-fascist deal.

"Here's my shortlist for the diplomatic postings, Oberon: Sir Rolf Harris in Tokyo, Sir Gregg Wallace in Paris, Sir Huw Williams for the Holy See..."

Today's episode of Britain In A Nutshell is brought to you by Sir Keir Starmer, the Baron Doyle of Great Barford (Labour) and the Theatre of the Absurd.

A large white waterfowl with orange feet stands in front of a door. On the door is a cardboard sign secured with tape that reads, "DO NOT LET THE DUCK IN." Adding insult to injury, I think the duck might be a goose.

Whatever you do,

An interesting character seen outside 10 Downing Street this morning:

Kevin spent most of yesterday in the park shouting at pigeons didn't he?

Going to tell the grandchildren this was The Mandalorian and Grogu.

Another day in Britain to look forward to then.

It's going to be even worse the next time they appoint Peter Mandelson

"Let me tell you that I'm not inconsiderably vexed by appointing a known crook, known friend of paedophiles and known security risk to be ambassador to the USA. Quite vexed, irked, testy and cheesed off."

Sir Keith, later.

"Remember to pull the angry face, Sir Keir. We practised it yesterday remember? Alongside the concerned face and the authoritative face?"

Right you are Oberon.

Never underestimate the strength of the Labour/Tory/fascist/LibDem determination to keep Scots hands off the levers of power. Given a chance, they'll make the pact work for years...

Hello. The Labour-fascist pact, suspended for five days of noisy and outraged Sarwar indignation, is back!

This one of those "MRP" polls isn't it? The sort that replaces orthodox, tried-and-tested polling techniques with statistical numberbending that only 1% of people understand. It's a few steps away from astrology as far as I can tell.

Also "More In Common" has a definite political agenda of its own.

A "poll" from the pressure group "More In Common" would be dubious at the best of times. And this "poll" isn't conventional but uses MRP statistical quackery. We'll see how long it takes to be debunked. *starts stopwatch*

a man is walking down an escalator with a gifbin.com watermark ALT: a man is walking down an escalator with a gifbin.com watermark

Here we are: Riding the escalator up to de-escalation.

a cat looking out of a window with a serious look on its face ALT: a cat looking out of a window with a serious look on its face

Joanna Cherry selling extracts of her unhinged vendetta book to the Tory press:

bugs bunny and daffy duck are standing next to a sign that says duck rabbit on it ALT: bugs bunny and daffy duck are standing next to a sign that says duck rabbit on it

strait of hormuz update

"My father once had intercourse with a polar bear in Canada. If you ask him he will deny this, not completely astonished. "Canada?" he will shout in a restrained manner, playing for time."

Who put the "bomp" in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

2/2 Jan de Heem's studio windows, reflected in a fallen glass.

𝓖𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝓲𝓬 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕘𝕟 𝚒𝚜 𝒎𝒚 𝖕𝖆𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖔𝖓.

Uh-huh. I'm a King James Bible atheist. None of this modern guff here.

"Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you."

Luke 6:38. Jesus understood the concept of mutual support.

Sir Keir Starmer is a bad egg and should resign forthwith. #HotTake

Non enim propter gloriam, diuicias aut honores pugnamus set propter libertatem solummodo quam nemo bonus nisi simul cum vita amittit.